[Rhodes22-list] Joke: ATM drive-through instructions:

[General Boats]

thanks Bill - just got a new boat order cancellation and needed this
I don't thin k Rose will laugh as hard as I did.

ss

Bill Effros wrote:

> ATM drive-through banking instructions:
>
> Please note that the HSBC Bank is installing new "Drive-through" teller
> machines. Customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their
> vehicles. To enable customers to use this new facility, the following
> procedures have been drawn up. Please read the procedure that applies to
> your own circumstances (i.e.MALE or FEMALE) and remember them when you use
> the machine for the first time.
>
> MALE PROCEDURE:
>
> * 1 Drive up to the cash machine.
> * 2 Put down your car window.
> * 3 Insert card into machine, enter PIN.
> * 4 Enter amount of cash required.
> * 5 Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
> * 6 Put window up.
> * 7 Drive off.
>
> FEMALE PROCEDURE:
>
> * 1 Drive up to cash machine.
> * 2 Reverse required distance to align car window to machine.
> * 3 Set parking brake, put window down.
> * 4 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
> * 5 Turn the radio down.
> * 6 Attempt to insert card into machine.
> * 8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
> distance from the car.
> * 9 Insert card.
> * 10 Re-insert card the right way up.
> * 11 Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN # written on the inside
> back page.
> * 12 Enter PIN.
> * 13 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
> * 14 Enter amount of cash required.
> * 15 Check make up in rear view mirror.
> * 16 Retrieve cash and receipt.
> * 17 Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
> * 18 Place receipt in back of checkbook.
> * 19 Check make-up once more.
> * 20 Drive forward 2 feet.
> * 21 Reverse back to cash machine.
> * 22 Retrieve card.
> * 23 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
> provided
> * 24 Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male drivers waiting
> behind.
> * 25  Restart stalled engine and pull off.
> * 26  Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
> * 27  Release parking brake.
>
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