[Rhodes22-list] Joke -- Hu's On First

[Bill Effros]

Hu's On First

 (Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this to commemorate the appointment of  Hu
Jintao as chief of the Communist Party in China.)

(We take you now to the Oval Office.)

 George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
 Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
 George: Great. Lay it on me.
 Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
 George: That's what I want to know.
 Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
 George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
 Condi: Yes.
 George: I mean the fellow's name.
 Condi: Hu.
 George: The guy in China.
 Condi: Hu.
 George: The new leader of China.
 Condi: Hu.
 George: The Chinaman!
 Condi: Hu is leading China.
 George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
 Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
 George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
 Condi: That's the man's name.
 George: That's who's name?
 Condi: Yes.
 George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
 China?
 Condi: Yes, sir.
 George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle
 East.
 Condi: That's correct.
 George: Then who is in China?
 Condi: Yes, sir.
 George: Yassir is in China?
 Condi: No, sir.
 George: Then who is?
 Condi: Yes, sir.
 George: Yassir?
 Condi: No, sir.
 George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
 Condi: Kofi?
 George: No, thanks.
 Condi: You want Kofi?
 George: No.
 Condi: You don't want Kofi.
 George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And
 then get me the U.N.
 Condi: Yes, sir.
 George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
 Condi: Kofi?
 George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
 Condi: And call who?
 George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
 Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
 George: Will you stay out of China?!
 Condi: Yes, sir.
 George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
 Condi: Kofi.
 George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone. (Condi
 picks up the phone.)
 Condi: Rice, here.
 George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should
 send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese
food in the Middle East?