[Rhodes22-list] jokes

[Michael Meltzer]

http://viral.lycos.co.uk/games/condomgame.html

http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com

Check this out. Make sure you watch the video.
http://www.kuka-roboter.de/robocoaster/english/galerie.html

For Cat, Viking and Led Zeppelin fans
http://www.winxpnews.com/rd/rd.cfm?id=021015FA-Viking_Cats&m
id=5957044079355987

Training video for the New Economy
http://www.winxpnews.com/rd/rd.cfm?id=020917FA-Training_Vide
o&mid=5957044079355987


- from Tim Corcoran

--
http://windward.nodalpoint.net/doc/media/liikenne.swf

- from Sandy Fraser

--
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule
here in heaven...don't step on the ducks." So they entered
heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although
they try their best to avoid them, the first woman
accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St.
Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for
stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly
man!"

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck,
and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and
with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them
together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and not wanting to be
chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY
careful where she steps. She manages to go months without
stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her
with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on very
tall, tanned and muscular. St. Peter chains them together
and leaves without saying a word.

The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being
chained to you for all of eternity?" The guy says, "I don't
know about you, but I stepped on a duck."

- from Sue Greene

--
http://yonkis.ya.com/flash/orgasmos.htm

- from John Raso

--
Bob stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity. He
waggled, looked up, looked down, waggled again, but didn't
start his backswing.

Finally his exasperated partner asked, "What is taking so
long?"

"My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse," Bob
said. "I want to make a perfect shot."

"Good lord! man!" his companion exclaimed. "There's no way
your gonna hit her from here."

++
You've got to know about Skoal to appreciate this one. For
you non-Texans, the container for this snuff is very large,
flat and round, and the cowboy carries it in his back jean
pocket.

Prior to her trip to Texas, Buffy (a New Yorker) confided to
her sorority sisters she had three goals for her trip to the
Lone Star State. She wanted to taste some real Texas
Bar-B-Cue, take in a bona fide rodeo, and have sex with a
real cowboy. Upon her return, her sorority sisters were
curious as to how she fared.

"Let me tell you, they have a tree down there called
Mesquite, and when they slow cook that brisket over that
Mesquite, it's oh so good. The taste is unbelievable! And, I
went to a real rodeo... Talk about athletes! Those guys
wrestle full grown bulls! They ride horses at a full gallop,
then jump off the horses and grab the bulls by the horns and
throw them to the ground! It is just incredible!"

They then asked, "Well, tell us, did you have sex with a
real cowboy?"

"Are you kidding? Once I saw the outline of the condom they
carry in the back pocket of their jeans, I changed my mind!"

- from Carol Bagshaw

--
This is from a contest on Long Island. The requirements were
to use the
two words Lewinsky and Kaczynski (the Unabomber) in a
limerick. Here are
the three winners:

Third place:

There once was a gal named Lewinsky
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky
'Twas "Hail to the Chief"
On this flute made of beef
That stole the front page from Kaczynski.

Second place:

Said Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky
Don't leave any clues like Kaczynski,
Since you look such a mess,
Use the hem of your dress
And wipe that stuff off of your chinsky.

And the winning entry:

Lewinsky and Clinton have shown
What Kaczynski must surely have known:
That an intern is better
Than a bomb in a letter
When deciding how best to be blown.

- from Donna Pauley