[Rhodes22-list] jokes

[Michael Meltzer]

http://www.kbtoys.com/genProduct.html/PID/2431939/ctid/17/place/agsf?_e=3f4a
2&_v=3F4A281CHwAXa70A148FC920

 - from Peter Kent

--
Two families move from Saudi Arabia to America. When they arrive, the
fathers make each other a rather large bet -- in a year's time, whichever
family has become more American will win.

A year later when they meet again, the first guy says, "My son's playing
baseball, I went to McDonald's for breakfast, and I'm on my way to pick up
some Budweiser for the football game tonight. How about you?"

The second guy says, "Fuck you, towel-head!"

 - from Jay "Politically Correct" Pocius

--
James Crane worked on the 101st of Tower 1 of the World Trade Center. He is
blind so he has a golden retriever named Daisy. After the plane hit 20
stories below, James knew that he was doomed, so he let Daisy go, out of an
act of love. She darted away into the darkened hallway. Choking on the fumes
of the jet fuel and the smoke James was just waiting to die. About 30
minutes later, Daisy comes back along with James' boss, who Daisy just
happened to pick up on floor 112.

On her first run of the building, she leads James, James' boss, and about
300 more people out of the doomed building. But she wasn't through yet, she
knew there were others who were trapped. So, highly against James' wishes
she ran back in the building.

On her second run, she saved 392 lives. Again she went back in. During this
run, the building collapses. James hears about this and falls on his knees
into tears. Against all known odds, Daisy makes it out alive, but this time
she is carried by a firefighter. "She led us right to the people, before she
got injured" the fireman explained.

Her final run saved another 273 lives. She suffered acute smoke inhalation,
severe burns on all four paws, and a broken leg, but she saved 967 lives.
The
next week, Mayor Guilaini rewards Daisy with the Canine medal of Honor of
New York. Daisy is the first civilian Canine to win such an honor.

 - from Jay "Dobie Lover" Pocius

--
Now that Uday and Qusay have been eliminated, a lot of the lesser-known
family members are coming to the attention of American authorities.

Among the brothers:

Sooflay ...........the restauranteur
Guday..............the half-Australian brother
Huray..............the sports fanatic
Bejay..............the gay brother
Kuntay &Kintay.....the twins from the African mother
Sayhay.............the baseball player
Ojay...............the stalker / murderer
Gulay..............the singer / entertainer
Ebay...............the internet czar
Biliray............the country music star
Ecksray............the radiologist
Puray..............the blender factory owner
Regay..............the half-Jamaican brother
Tupay..............the one with bad hair

Among the sisters:

Pusay..............the 'loose' 22 yr old
Lattay.............the coffee shop owner
Bufay..............the 300 pound sister
Dushay.............the clean sister
Phayray............the zoo worker in the gorilla house
Sapheway...........the grocery store owner
Ollay..............the half-mexican sister
Gudlay.............the prostitute

More will no doubt be discovered.

 - from Sandy Fraser

--
Gold Star Mothers is an organization made up of women whose sons were killed
in military combat during service in the United States armed forces.

Recently a delegation of New York State Gold Star Mothers made a trip to
Washington, DC, to discuss various concerns with their elected
representatives.

According to published reports, there was only one politician who refused to
meet with these ladies. Can you guess which politician that might be?

Was it New York Senator Charles Schumer? Nope, he met with them. Try again.

Do you know anyone serving in the Senate who has never showed anything but
contempt for our military?

Do you happen to know the name of any politician in Washington who's husband
once wrote of his loathing for the military? Now you're getting warm! You
got it!

None other than the Queen herself, Hillary Rotten Clinton. She refused
repeated requests to meet with the Gold Star Mothers.

Now, please don't tell me you're surprised. This woman wants to be President
of the United States --- and there is a huge percentage of Voters who are
eager to help her achieve that goal.

May you sleep in peace always...and please...hug or thank a Veteran for that
privilege.

And think about this one !!! Don't forget, our girl, Hillary Rodham Clinton,
as a New York Senator, now comes under this fancy congressional Retirement
and Staffing Plan. It's common knowledge that, in order for her to establish
NYS residency, they purchased a million+ dollar house in upscale Chappaqua,
NY.

Makes sense.

Now, they are entitled to Secret Service protection for life.

Still makes sense.

Here is where it becomes interesting. The mortgage payments hover at about
$10,000 per month. BUT, an extra residency had to be built within the
acreage in order to house the Secret Service agents.

The Clinton's now charge the Secret Service $10,000 monthly rent for the use
of said Secret Service residence and that rent is just about equal to their
mortgage payment, .........meaning that we, the tax payers, are paying the
Clinton's mortgage, their transportation, their safety and security, their
12 man staff, and it's all perfectly legal.

 --Sincerely, Cdr. Hamilton McWhorter USN (ret)

 - from Ron Coveney

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