[Rhodes22-list] joke

[Alex Bell]

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth.    The doctor comes in and 
informs the dad    that his son was born without torso, arms or legs.  
The son is 
just a head!

But the dad loves his son and raises him    as well as he can, with love
and 
compassion.    After 21 years, the son is now old enough    for his
first drink.

Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells    the son he is proud of him
and orders 
up    the biggest, strongest drink for his boy.    With all the bar
patrons looking 
on curiously    and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief,  the
boy takes his 
first sip of alcohol.

Swoooop! A torso pops out!

The bar is dead! silent; then bursts into celebration and the father
begs his son to 
drink again.   The patrons start chanting , "Take another drink"!

The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.    Swoooop! Two arms  pop
out.   
 The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing,    begs his son to
drink 
again.    The patrons chant "Take another drink"!    The bartender
ignores the 
whole affair.

By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his    new hands he reaches
down, 
grabs his drink    and guzzles the last of it.    Swoooop! Two legs pop
out.   The 
bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God.

The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles   to the left....then to
the right....  
  right through the front door, into the street,  where a truck runs
over him and 
kills him    instantly.

The bar falls silent.

The father moans in grief.

The bartender sighs and says...


   (wait for it)



(it's coming)




(Ya ready?)



(don't hate me)


(take a deep breath)






"He should have quit while he was a head!"
=================================================================================

A man finally gets his prescription for Viagra. Anxious to try it out,
he takes 
one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from
work, 
but, in his excitement he forgets and leaves the package open on the
table and his 
cockatiel eats all of them. Seeing the results and panicking the man
grabs the 
bird and stuffs him into the freezer to cool off. Unfortunately, his
Viagra kicks in 
just as his wife comes home and it is hours later before he remembers
the 
cockatiel. He runs and looks in the freezer expecting the worst, only to
find the 
bird breathing heavily, drenched with sweat and totally exhausted.

"What happened?" the man asks, "You were in there for hours and yet
you're not 
only alive but you're sweating like crazy?"

The cockatiel pants: "Man, have you ever tried to pry apart the legs on
a frozen 
chicken?"
 
====================================================================================
In Pharmacology, all drugs have a generic name: Tylenol is
acetaminophen, 
Aleve is naproxen, Amoxil is amoxicillin, Advil is ibuprofen and so on.
The 
FDA has been looking for a Viagra, and announced that it has settled on 
mycoxafloppin. Also considered were mycoxafailin, mydixadruppen, 
mydixarisin, mydixadud, dixafix, and of course ibepokin.