[Rhodes22-list] Alex Bell Humor

[Kroposki]

Alex,
	You are sending your humor to the wrong list!  The list that you
can send non sailing stuff to is:

rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org

	Remember on the sail net list, big brother is watching you and
when you post non sailing stuff he gets upset.  Besides, the R22 lists
will appreciate your humor(?).
	Are thing slowing down at the shop?  
		Ed K
                               
                 


-----Original Message-----
From: Alex Bell [mailto:alexbell at coastalnet.com] 
Sent: Sunday, November 02, 2003 1:07 PM
Subject: [rhodes-list] humor

 Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
      immediately take the words
      Back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are
      the testimonials of a
      Few people who did....
      
      I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three
      kids in tow and asked loudly,  "How much do you charge for a
shampoo and a
      Blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went
back. My husband
      didn't say a word... he knew better.
      
      
      I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of
      golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
      After browsing for several minutes, I was
      approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who
      works at the store.
      He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I
      looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with
      men's balls."
      
      
      My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a
      store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.
      As we were looking at the display case, the boy
      behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
      I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
      My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy
      grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
      To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
      
      
      While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler
      decided to release
      some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able
      to grab hold of her after receiving looks of
      disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her
      that if she did not start behaving "right now"
      she would be punished.
      To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a
      voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I
      will tell Grandma that I saw you
      kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
      The silence was deafening after this enlightening
      exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
      I mustered up the last of my dignity
      and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
      The last thing I heard when the door closed behind
      me were screams of laughter.
      
      
      Have you ever asked your child a question too many
      times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty
      training and I was on him constantly.
      One day we stopped at TacoBellfor a quick lunch in
      between errands. It was very busy, with a full
      dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,
      so of course I checked my seven-month-old
      daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that
      Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him
      if he needed to go.
      He said, "No."
      I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an
      accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said,
      "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
      "No," he replied.
      I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
      because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more
time,
      "Danny, did you have an accident?"
      This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent
      over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST
FARTS!!"
      While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He
calmly
      pulled up his pants and sat down.
      An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for
      the best laugh they'd
      ever had!
      
      This had most of the state ofMichiganlaughing for
      2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who
      will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.
      What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true
story...
      We had a female news anchor who, the day after it
      was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman
and
      asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only
      did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too
      they were laughing so hard!
      
      
      Now, didn't that feel good? Please pass this on to
      someone you know who

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