[Rhodes22-list] jokes

[Michael Meltzer]

Mumf note: to all my American subscribers -- have a great Thanksgiving! To
the rest of you -- GET BACK TO WORK!!)

Once upon a time there were three little pigs. The straw pig, the stick pig,
and the brick pig.

One day this nasty old wolf came up to the straw pig's house and said "I'm
gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." And he did!!!!

So the straw pig went running over to the stick pig's house and said,
"Please let me in, the wolf just blew down my house." So the stick pig let
the straw pig in.

Just then the wolf showed up and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow
your house down." And he did!

So the straw pig and the stick pig went running over to the brick Pig's
house and said, "Let us in, let us in, the big bad wolf just blew our houses
down."

So the brick pig let them in just as the wolf showed up. The wolf said "I'm
gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." The straw pig and the stick
pig were so scared!

But the brick pig picked up the phone and made a call. A few minutes passed
and a big, black stretch limo pulls up. Out step three pigs named Louie,
Silvio, and Dominic.

These pigs came over to the wolf, grabbed him by the neck and beat the
living shit out of him, then one of them pulled out a gun, stuck it in the
wolf's mouth and fired. Then they got back into their limo and drove off.

The straw pig and stick pig were amazed! "Who the hell were those guys?"
they asked.

"Those were my cousins from North Jersey - the Guinea Pigs."

++
A priest and a rabbi are sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a
while the priest turns to the rabbi and asks, "Is it still a requirement of
your faith that you not eat pork?"

The rabbi responds, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."

The priest then asks, "Have you ever eaten pork?"

To which the rabbi replies, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to
temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."

The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.

A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still
a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"

The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."

The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations
of the flesh?"

The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with
my faith."

The rabbi, nodded understandingly.  He was silent for about five minutes,
and then he said, "Beats a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"

 - from Lucy Nichol

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