[Rhodes22-list] Music Humor - I think
Mark Kaynor
mark at kaynor.org
Wed Feb 9 21:01:08 EST 2005
Slim,
Yeah, it was sweet - a fretted 5 string and the electronics were awesome.
Sigh. I had a really hard time letting go of it - took me years to build up
to it. But in all honesty I was never able to do it justice, though, like
any bass player, I would have given my eye teeth to be able to play like
Stanley Clarke.....or Jaco Pastorius.... <g>.
The four string Gibson Les Paul I traded for it was more my style. The
Alembic was just a bit too much for me to handle once we got going and the
beer started flowing... Geez, but I had fun playing in that band.....
I got the Martin Backpacker mandolin, figuring it's way more likely to be
able to handle the humidity / heat / cold of a boat than most of the others.
A pretty nice instrument for the money, actually - I was surprised that it
sounds as good as it does, given it's size.
Mark
-----Original Message-----
From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
[mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of Steve Alm
Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2005 7:59 PM
To: Rhodes
Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] Music Humor - I think
Mark,
Wow! You had an Alembic!? I've never even seen one except in the hands of
Stanley Clarke. You must have agonized over selling it. But after 15
years--yep, let it go to someone who will play it.
A mandolin is a great boat instrument. I used to have one years ago but I
left it in the back seat of my car on a hot day, and it disintegrated. 8-(
Sometimes I bring my ukulele onboard. And harmonica.
Slim
On 2/9/05 6:10 PM, "Mark Kaynor" <mark at kaynor.org> wrote:
> Slim,
>
> Nah. Kinda miss it, though. I went through a nasty divorce from "the
> ex-wife from Hell" and somehow quit playing in the process. I just
> sold my Alembic Spoiler bass on ebay a few months ago because I hadn't
> played it once in 15 or so years. Decided it was finally time to let
> go - besides, I needed a ham radio for the big boat. Guess it's all about
priorities....
>
> I did just get a new mandolin, though - thought that might fit better,
> anyway - and it doesn't draw as much power as a bass rig <g>.
>
> Mark
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
> [mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of Steve Alm
> Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2005 6:29 PM
> To: Rhodes
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] Music Humor - I think
>
> Mark,
>
> Are you sure that was in Roanoke? It sounds just like a bar on the Ft.
> Totten Indian Reservation in South Dakota. 8-) Good story. Do you
> still play?
> Slim
>
> On 2/9/05 4:52 PM, "Mark Kaynor" <mark at kaynor.org> wrote:
>
>> Steve,
>>
>> While I'm traveling down memory lane, your post reminded me of when I
>> used to play in a local blues band. One Wednesday night we were
>> playing for the gate at this dive in Roanoke. We had a friend
>> watching the door for us when this big guy named "Heavy" came up to
>> him and said "I'd better check this with you or I might get into
>> trouble" and handed him a 45 automatic. This place was amazing. At
>> one point the
> bartender lit up a joint behind the bar.
>> There was this one guy there who kept yelling "Black Flag! Black
>> Flag!". Our rhythm guitarist finally got him to shut up by betting
>> him he could stand on his head and drink a beer - which he did. The
>> guy started yelling again after and Heavy and some of his friends
>> showed him the door, none too gently. We found out later that the
>> there was a shootout in the parking lot the Friday after we played -
>> I don't know if
> Heavy was involved or not.
>> Years later I was talking to one of my neighbors who was in
>> corrections and he told me this place had a reputation among law
>> enforcement as a good place to check for escapees from the city jail.
>>
>> Mark Kaynor
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
>> [mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of Steve Alm
>> Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2005 5:26 PM
>> To: Rhodes
>> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] Music Humor - I think
>>
>> Rummy, you're welcome. See ya there.
>> Brad, you'd fit right in too.
>> Ed, no, that's not a bad night. It's EVERY night! 8-)
>> Slim
>>
>> On 2/9/05 5:39 AM, "brad haslett" <flybrad at yahoo.com> wrote:
>>
>>> Well Slim, I have just one thing to say about that.
>>>
>>>
>>> FREEBIRD!
>>>
>>>
>>> (come on man, I'm holding my lighter up in a hotel
>>> room)
>>>
>>> Brad
>>>
>>>
>>> --- Steve Alm <salm at mn.rr.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>> This would be funny if it weren't so damn true:
>>>>
>>>> MUSICIANS ARE EXPERT MIND READERS
>>>>
>>>> When requesting a song from the band, just say "play my song!" We
>>>> have a chip implanted in our heads with an unlimited database with
>>>> the favorite tunes of every patron who ever walked into a bar & all
>>>> songs ever recorded, so feel free to be vague, we love the challenge.
>>>>
>>>> If we do not remember exactly what tune you want, we're only kidding.
>>>> Bands know every song ever recorded, so keep humming. Hum harder if
>>>> need be ... it helps jog the memory.
>>>>
>>>> If a band tells you they do not know a song you want to hear, they
>>>> either forgot that they know the tune or they are just putting you
>>>> on. Try singing a few words for the band. Any words will do.
>>>>
>>>> It also helps to scream your request from across the room several
>>>> times per set followed by the phrases, "AW COME ON!" and, "YOU SUCK!"
>>>> Exaggerated hand gestures expressing disapproval from the dance
>>>> floor are a big help as well, such as the thumbs down or your
>>>> middle finger.
>>>> Put-downs are the best
>>>> way to jog a band's memory. This instantly promotes you to the
>>>> status of "Personal Friend Of The Band."
>>>>
>>>> Entertainers are notorious fakers & jokesters and never really
>>>> prepare for their shows. They simply walk on stage with no prior
>>>> thought to what they will do once they arrive. An entertainer's
>>>> job is so easy, even a monkey could do it, so don't let them off
>>>> the hook easily.
>>>> Your request is all
>>>> that matters.
>>>>
>>>> If a metal band had played at the club a few weeks ago, the next
>>>> band that follows will automatically know every metal tune the
>>>> previous band ever played, even if the current band is a blues or
>>>> country band. It's the law.
>>>> Feel free to yell AC DC or SLAYER!! to a band that plays strictly
>>>> originals or jazz for example. Conversely, Deadheads may yell for
>>>> Grateful Dead tunes at a dance or metal band.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> IMPORTANT
>>>>
>>>> When an entertainer leans over to hear you better, grab his or her
>>>> head in both hands and yell directly into their ear, while holding
>>>> their head securely so they cannot pull away.
>>>> This will be taken as an invitation to a friendly & playful game of
>>>> tug of war between their head and your hands.
>>>>
>>>> Don't give up! Hang on until the singer or guitar player submits.
>>>> Drummers are often safe from this fun game since they usually sit
>>>> in the back, protected by the guitar players.
>>>> Keyboard players are protected by their instrument, & only play the
>>>> game when tricked into coming out from behind their keyboards.
>>>> Though difficult to get them play, it's not impossible, so keep trying.
>>>> They're especially vulnerable during the break between songs.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> TALKING WITH THE BAND
>>>>
>>>> The best time to discuss anything with the band in any meaningful
>>>> way is at the middle of a song when all band members are singing at
>>>> the same time.
>>>> Our hearing is so advanced that we can pick out your tiny voice
>>>> from the megawatt wall of sound blasting all around us.
>>>> Musicians are expert lip
>>>> readers too. If a musician does not reply to your question or
>>>> comment during a tune, it's because they didn't get a good look at
>>>> your mouth in order to read your lips.
>>>>
>>>> Simply continue to scream your request & be sure to over emphasize
>>>> the words with your lips. This helps immensely.
>>>> Don't be fooled.
>>>>
>>>> Singers have the innate ability to answer questions & sing at the
>>>> same time.
>>>> If the singer doesn't answer your questions immediately, regardless
>>>> of how stupid the question may seem, it's because they are
>>>> purposely ignoring you.
>>>> If this happens, immediately cop an attitude. We love this.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> HELPING THE BAND
>>>>
>>>> If you inform the band that you are a singer, the band will
>>>> appreciate your help with the next few tunes, or however long you
>>>> can remain standing on stage. Just pretend you're in a Karaoke bar.
>>>> Simply feel free to walk up on stage & join in. By the way, the
>>>> drunker you are, the better you sound, & the louder you should sing.
>>>>
>>>> If by chance you fall off the stage, be sure to crawl back up &
>>>> attempt to sing harmony. Keep in mind that nothing assists the
>>>> band more than outrageous dancing, third & fourth part harmonies,
>>>> or a tambourine played out of tempo.
>>>> Try the cow bell, they love the challenge. The band always needs
>>>> the help & will take this as a compliment.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> VERY IMPORTANT
>>>>
>>>> Remember to allow enough time to make it from the stage to the
>>>> bathroom in case of an emergency. On stage accidents are bad form.
>>>> The band will carry on.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> BONUS TIP
>>>>
>>>> As a last resort, wait until the band takes a break and then get on
>>>> stage and start playing their instruments. They love this. Even if
>>>> you are ejected from the club, you can rest assured in the fact
>>>> that you have successfully completed your audition. The band will
>>>> call you immediately the following day to offer you a position.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> See you at the next gig ...
>>>> The Band
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> __________________________________________________
>>>> Use Rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org, Help?
>>>> www.rhodes22.org/list
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> __________________________________
>>> Do you Yahoo!?
>>> Yahoo! Mail - Easier than ever with enhanced search. Learn more.
>>> http://info.mail.yahoo.com/mail_250
>>> __________________________________________________
>>> Use Rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org, Help? www.rhodes22.org/list
>>
>> __________________________________________________
>> Use Rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org, Help? www.rhodes22.org/list
>>
>>
>> __________________________________________________
>> Use Rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org, Help? www.rhodes22.org/list
>
> __________________________________________________
> Use Rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org, Help? www.rhodes22.org/list
>
>
> __________________________________________________
> Use Rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org, Help? www.rhodes22.org/list
__________________________________________________
Use Rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org, Help? www.rhodes22.org/list
More information about the Rhodes22-list
mailing list