[Rhodes22-list] Music Humor - I think

Wed Feb 9 21:25:16 EST 2005

Well, I traded my telecaster for a banjo about 25 years ago.  Still
wish I had it when I feel the need for a twang.  I gave the banjo to
a worthy cause (someone who actually plays it) but I still have three
or four guitars knocking around - but the kids are grabbing those.

Ron
On Feb 9, 2005, at 8:01 PM, Mark Kaynor wrote:

> Slim,
>
> Yeah, it was sweet - a fretted 5 string and the electronics were 
> awesome.
> Sigh. I had a really hard time letting go of it - took me years to 
> build up
> to it. But in all honesty I was never able to do it justice, though, 
> like
> any bass player, I would have given my eye teeth to be able to play 
> like
> Stanley Clarke.....or Jaco Pastorius.... <g>.
>
> The four string Gibson Les Paul I traded for it was more my style. The
> Alembic was just a bit too much for me to handle once we got going and 
> the
> beer started flowing... Geez, but I had fun playing in that band.....
>
> I got the Martin Backpacker mandolin, figuring it's way more likely to 
> be
> able to handle the humidity / heat / cold of a boat than most of the 
> others.
> A pretty nice instrument for the money, actually - I was surprised 
> that it
> sounds as good as it does, given it's size.
>
> Mark
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
> [mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of Steve Alm
> Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2005 7:59 PM
> To: Rhodes
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] Music Humor - I think
>
> Mark,
>
> Wow! You had an Alembic!?  I've never even seen one except in the 
> hands of
> Stanley Clarke.  You must have agonized over selling it.  But after 15
> years--yep, let it go to someone who will play it.
>
> A mandolin is a great boat instrument.  I used to have one years ago 
> but I
> left it in the back seat of my car on a hot day, and it disintegrated. 
> 8-(
> Sometimes I bring my ukulele onboard.  And harmonica.
>
> Slim
>
> On 2/9/05 6:10 PM, "Mark Kaynor" <mark at kaynor.org> wrote:
>
>> Slim,
>>
>> Nah. Kinda miss it, though. I went through a nasty divorce from "the
>> ex-wife from Hell" and somehow quit playing in the process. I just
>> sold my Alembic Spoiler bass on ebay a few months ago because I hadn't
>> played it once in 15 or so years. Decided it was finally time to let
>> go - besides, I needed a ham radio for the big boat. Guess it's all 
>> about
> priorities....
>>
>> I did just get a new mandolin, though - thought that might fit better,
>> anyway - and it doesn't draw as much power as a bass rig <g>.
>>
>> Mark
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
>> [mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of Steve Alm
>> Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2005 6:29 PM
>> To: Rhodes
>> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] Music Humor - I think
>>
>> Mark,
>>
>> Are you sure that was in Roanoke?  It sounds just like a bar on the 
>> Ft.
>> Totten Indian Reservation in South Dakota.  8-) Good story.  Do you
>> still play?
>> Slim
>>
>> On 2/9/05 4:52 PM, "Mark Kaynor" <mark at kaynor.org> wrote:
>>
>>> Steve,
>>>
>>> While I'm traveling down memory lane, your post reminded me of when I
>>> used to play in a local blues band. One Wednesday night we were
>>> playing for the gate at this dive in Roanoke. We had a friend
>>> watching the door for us when this big guy named "Heavy" came up to
>>> him and said "I'd better check this with you or I might get into
>>> trouble" and handed him a 45 automatic. This place was amazing. At
>>> one point the
>> bartender lit up a joint behind the bar.
>>> There was this one guy there who kept yelling "Black Flag! Black
>>> Flag!". Our rhythm guitarist finally got him to shut up by betting
>>> him he could stand on his head and drink a beer - which he did. The
>>> guy started yelling again after and Heavy and some of his friends
>>> showed him the door, none too gently. We found out later that the
>>> there was a shootout in the parking lot the Friday after we played -
>>> I don't know if
>> Heavy was involved or not.
>>> Years later I was talking to one of my neighbors who was in
>>> corrections and he told me this place had a reputation among law
>>> enforcement as a good place to check for escapees from the city jail.
>>>
>>> Mark Kaynor
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
>>> [mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of Steve Alm
>>> Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2005 5:26 PM
>>> To: Rhodes
>>> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] Music Humor - I think
>>>
>>> Rummy, you're welcome.  See ya there.
>>> Brad, you'd fit right in too.
>>> Ed,  no, that's not a bad night.  It's EVERY night!   8-)
>>> Slim
>>>
>>> On 2/9/05 5:39 AM, "brad haslett" <flybrad at yahoo.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Well Slim, I have just one thing to say about that.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> FREEBIRD!
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> (come on man, I'm holding my lighter up in a hotel
>>>> room)
>>>>
>>>> Brad
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> --- Steve Alm <salm at mn.rr.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> This would be funny if it weren't so damn true:
>>>>>
>>>>> MUSICIANS ARE EXPERT MIND READERS
>>>>>
>>>>> When requesting a song from the band, just say "play my song!"  We
>>>>> have a chip implanted in our heads with an unlimited database with
>>>>> the favorite tunes of every patron who ever walked into a bar & all
>>>>> songs ever recorded, so feel free to be vague, we love the 
>>>>> challenge.
>>>>>
>>>>> If we do not remember exactly what tune you want, we're only 
>>>>> kidding.
>>>>> Bands know every song ever recorded, so keep humming. Hum harder if
>>>>> need be ... it helps jog the memory.
>>>>>
>>>>> If a band tells you they do not know a song you want to hear, they
>>>>> either forgot that they know the tune or they are just putting you
>>>>> on.  Try singing a few words for the band. Any words will do.
>>>>>
>>>>> It also helps to scream your request from across the room several
>>>>> times per set followed by the phrases, "AW COME ON!" and, "YOU 
>>>>> SUCK!"
>>>>> Exaggerated hand gestures expressing disapproval from the dance
>>>>> floor are a big help as well, such as the thumbs down or your
>>>>> middle finger.
>>>>> Put-downs are the best
>>>>> way to jog a band's memory.  This instantly promotes you to the
>>>>> status of "Personal Friend Of The Band."
>>>>>
>>>>> Entertainers are notorious fakers & jokesters and never really
>>>>> prepare for their shows.  They simply walk on stage with no prior
>>>>> thought to what they will do once they arrive.  An entertainer's
>>>>> job is so easy, even  a monkey could do it, so don't let them off
>>>>> the hook easily.
>>>>> Your request is all
>>>>> that matters.
>>>>>
>>>>> If a metal band had played at the club a few weeks ago, the next
>>>>> band that follows will automatically know every metal tune the
>>>>> previous band ever played, even if the current band  is a blues or
>>>>> country band. It's the law.
>>>>> Feel free to yell AC DC or SLAYER!! to a band that plays strictly
>>>>> originals or jazz for example. Conversely, Deadheads may yell for
>>>>> Grateful Dead tunes at a dance or metal band.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> IMPORTANT
>>>>>
>>>>> When an entertainer leans over to hear you better, grab his or her
>>>>> head in both hands and yell directly into their ear, while holding
>>>>> their head securely so they cannot pull away.
>>>>> This will be taken as an invitation to a friendly & playful game of
>>>>> tug of war between their head and your hands.
>>>>>
>>>>> Don't give up! Hang on until the singer or guitar player submits.
>>>>> Drummers are often safe from this fun game since they usually sit
>>>>> in the back, protected by the guitar players.
>>>>> Keyboard players are protected by their instrument, & only play the
>>>>> game when tricked into coming out from behind their keyboards.
>>>>> Though difficult to get them play, it's not impossible, so keep 
>>>>> trying.
>>>>> They're especially vulnerable during the break between songs.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> TALKING WITH THE BAND
>>>>>
>>>>> The best time to discuss anything with the band in any meaningful
>>>>> way is at the middle of a song when all band members are singing at
>>>>> the same time.
>>>>> Our hearing is so advanced that we can pick out your tiny voice
>>>>> from the megawatt wall of sound blasting all around us.
>>>>> Musicians are expert lip
>>>>> readers too.  If a musician does not reply to your question or
>>>>> comment during a tune, it's because they didn't get a good look at
>>>>> your mouth in order to read your lips.
>>>>>
>>>>> Simply continue to scream your request & be sure to over emphasize
>>>>> the words with your lips. This helps immensely.
>>>>> Don't be fooled.
>>>>>
>>>>> Singers have the innate ability to answer questions & sing at the
>>>>> same time.
>>>>> If the singer doesn't answer your questions immediately, regardless
>>>>> of how stupid the question may seem, it's because they are
>>>>> purposely ignoring you.
>>>>> If this happens, immediately cop an attitude. We love this.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> HELPING THE BAND
>>>>>
>>>>> If you inform the band that you are a singer, the band will
>>>>> appreciate your help with the next few tunes, or however long you
>>>>> can remain standing on stage.  Just pretend you're in a Karaoke 
>>>>> bar.
>>>>> Simply feel free to walk up on stage & join in. By the way, the
>>>>> drunker you are, the better you sound, & the louder you should 
>>>>> sing.
>>>>>
>>>>> If by chance you fall off the  stage, be sure to crawl back up &
>>>>> attempt to sing harmony.  Keep in mind that nothing assists the
>>>>> band more than outrageous dancing, third & fourth part harmonies,
>>>>> or a tambourine played out of tempo.
>>>>> Try the cow bell, they love the challenge. The band always needs
>>>>> the help & will take this as a compliment.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> VERY IMPORTANT
>>>>>
>>>>> Remember to allow enough time to make it from the stage to the
>>>>> bathroom in case of an emergency.  On stage accidents are bad form.
>>>>> The band will carry on.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> BONUS TIP
>>>>>
>>>>> As a last resort, wait until the band takes a break and then get on
>>>>> stage and start playing their instruments.  They love this. Even if
>>>>> you are ejected from the club, you can rest assured in the fact
>>>>> that you have successfully completed your audition.  The band will
>>>>> call you immediately the following day to offer you a position.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> See you at the next gig ...
>>>>> The Band
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> __________________________________________________
>>>>> Use Rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org, Help?
>>>>> www.rhodes22.org/list
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
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