[Rhodes22-list] Aviation Humor

[Stephen Staum]

That's good!  SS
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "brad haslett" <flybrad at yahoo.com>
To: <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
Sent: Friday, January 28, 2005 9:50 PM
Subject: [Rhodes22-list] Aviation Humor


> Since were on a aviation humor roll, here's some more.
> This is old stuff but some of you may not have heard
> it before. Brad
> 
> AIRCRAFT MAINTENANCE WRITE-UPS AND CORRECTIVE ACTION
> TAKEN
> 
> Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers
> lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged
> maintenance complaints by QANTAS pilots and the
> corrective action recorded by mechanics. By
> the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has
> never had an accident so their maintenance program
> must be producing reliable vehicles.
> 
> 
> (P stands for the problem the pilots entered in the
> log, and S stands for the corrective action taken by
> the mechanics). The note related to "no. 3 engine"
> is for those accustomed to large, dark buildings with
> no windows and a 3-letter address starting with "Z .
> ."
> 
> P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
> S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
> 
> P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
> S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
> 
> P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
> S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4
> propellers lack normal seepage.
> 
> P: Something loose in cockpit.
> S: Something tightened in cockpit.
> 
> P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> S: Live bugs on back-order.
> 
> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm
> descent.
> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
> 
> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> S: Evidence removed.
> 
> P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> S: DME volume set to more believable level.
> 
> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> S: That's what they're there for!
> 
> P: IFF inoperative.
> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
> 
> P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
> S: Suspect you're right.
> 
> P: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a
> piston-engined airplane; the pilot meant the engine
> was not running smoothly).
> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
> 
> P: Aircraft handles funny.
> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be
> serious.
> 
> P: Radar hums.
> S: Reprogrammed radar with words.
> 
> P: Mouse in cockpit.
> S: Cat installed.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
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