[Rhodes22-list] jokes and a test for Ed :-)

[Michel Meltzer]

Test for Ed :-)

http://www.gjk2.com/test/test.swf
 

--
A liberal, brain-dead atheist professor at a prestigious Eastern
University stood on the lecture room platform addressing the students
regarding his views on the non-existence of God. Among those assembled,
was a Marine who was taking the class as a part of a continuing
education program.

"There is no God!" claimed the professor. "If there IS a God, let him
throw me from this platform! I'll give God fifteen minutes to do so. You
will all soon see there is no God!"

The lecture room fell silent and the professor began his lecture. Ten
minutes went by, and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God - still
waiting."
 
It got down to the last minute when the Marine stood up, walked to the
professor and threw his best punch, knocking the professor off the
platform, and out cold! The Marine calmly walked back to his seat and
sat down.
 
The other students were shocked and stunned, silently looking on. The
professor came to, noticeably shaken. He looked at the Marine and asked;
"What is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied; "God is busy today protecting America's
soldiers who are protecting your right to behave like an idiot, so he
sent me."

 - 
 
--
Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2006

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die .

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.  If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use
the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and People take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the
millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to
where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe
we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration...


--
Three guys -- a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an American
engineer -- are working together one day. They come across a lantern and
a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you one wish" says the
Genie. 
 
The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will
also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." Pooooof!
With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever made
fertile for farming. 
 
Osama bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around
Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can
come into our precious state." Pooooof! Again, with the blink of the
Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.. 
 
The American engineer asks, "I am very curious. Please tell me more
about this wall". The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 5000 feet high,
500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in
or out -- it's virtually impenetrable." 
 
The American engineer says, "Fill it with water." 
 
Pooooof!