[Rhodes22-list] jokes and a test for Ed :-)

[Hank]

Very Good, Michael!!!

On 2/9/06, Michel Meltzer <mjm at michaelmeltzer.com> wrote:
>
> Test for Ed :-)
>
> http://www.gjk2.com/test/test.swf
>
>
> --
> A liberal, brain-dead atheist professor at a prestigious Eastern
> University stood on the lecture room platform addressing the students
> regarding his views on the non-existence of God. Among those assembled,
> was a Marine who was taking the class as a part of a continuing
> education program.
>
> "There is no God!" claimed the professor. "If there IS a God, let him
> throw me from this platform! I'll give God fifteen minutes to do so. You
> will all soon see there is no God!"
>
> The lecture room fell silent and the professor began his lecture. Ten
> minutes went by, and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God - still
> waiting."
>
> It got down to the last minute when the Marine stood up, walked to the
> professor and threw his best punch, knocking the professor off the
> platform, and out cold! The Marine calmly walked back to his seat and
> sat down.
>
> The other students were shocked and stunned, silently looking on. The
> professor came to, noticeably shaken. He looked at the Marine and asked;
> "What is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"
>
> The Marine calmly replied; "God is busy today protecting America's
> soldiers who are protecting your right to behave like an idiot, so he
> sent me."
>
> -
>
> --
> Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2006
>
> Number 10
> Life is sexually transmitted.
>
> Number 9
> Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die .
>
> Number 8
> Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.  If you see him without an
> erection, make him a sandwich.
>
> Number 7
> Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use
> the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
>
> Number 6
> Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you
> still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
>
> Number 5
> Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
> of nothing.
>
> Number 4
> All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
> criticism.
>
> Number 3
> Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
> substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
>
> Number 2
> In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
> weird and People take Prozac to make it normal.
>
> AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:
> We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the
> millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to
> where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe
> we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration...
>
>
> --
> Three guys -- a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an American
> engineer -- are working together one day. They come across a lantern and
> a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you one wish" says the
> Genie.
>
> The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will
> also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." Pooooof!
> With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever made
> fertile for farming.
>
> Osama bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around
> Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can
> come into our precious state." Pooooof! Again, with the blink of the
> Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries..
>
> The American engineer asks, "I am very curious. Please tell me more
> about this wall". The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 5000 feet high,
> 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in
> or out -- it's virtually impenetrable."
>
> The American engineer says, "Fill it with water."
>
> Pooooof!
>
>
>
>
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