[Rhodes22-list] The telemarketer. (Humor)

[Slim]

Good one, Rummy!

I love messin' with telemarketers.  Our phone number is listed under my
wife's last name so if I answer and the caller asks, "Is this Mr.
O'Dougherty?"  (and they usually butcher the name)  I know it's a
telemarketer.  I try to put them back on their heals right off by saying
curtly, "This is DOCTOR O'Dougherty!"  or "JUDGE O'Dougherty"  or even
"FATHER O'Dougherty"  There's usually a long pause before the caller
gingerly begins the sell.

Then I listen patiently to the whole spiel and then begin asking questions.
First, I bleed them dry of all their material with all the questions I can
think of.  Then I simply refuse to commit, saying neither yes nor no.
"...It sounds good but I'm just not sure..." type of thing.    The goal is
to make them hang up on me.

"Dr. O'Dougherty do you agree it's a good idea to have siding for you house
that lasts a lifetime?"  "Well yes of course."

"Would you agree that our payment plan makes it easy to afford?"
"Absolutely."

"Well then can I schedule one of our associates to come out for a free
quote?"  "Just a minute, I'll ask my wife."

Then I'll speak off the phone but so he can hear.  I'll start by slowly
repeating everything he said, all my questions and his answers, etc., etc.,
etc.

Next thing I hear is music to my ears:  CLICK

Slim

On 6/13/06 9:43 AM, "R22RumRunner at aol.com" <R22RumRunner at aol.com> wrote:

> 
> 
> The  phone rang as I was sitting down to my evening meal, and as I
> answered it, I was greeted  with, "Is this Karl Brummer?" Not sounding
> anything like my name, I asked,  "Who is calling?"  The telemarketer
> said  he was with The Rubber Band Powered Freezer Company or something
> like  that. Then I asked him if he knew Karl personally and why was he
> calling this number. I then  said, (off to the side), "Get some pictures
> of  the body at various angles and samples from those blood smears." I
> then  turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had
> entered a murder scene and must  stay on the line because we had already
> traced this call, and he would  be receiving a summons to testify. I
> questioned the caller at great  length as to his name, address, phone
> number at home, at work, who he  worked for, how he knew the dead guy
> and  could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made  this
> call. The telemarketer was  getting very concerned and his answers were
> given i n a shaky voice. I then  told him we had located his position
> and  two uniformed police officers were entering the building to escort
> him  in for questioning. At that point I heard the phone fall and
> scurrying sounds as he ran  away.  My wife asked me as I returned to our
> table why I had tears streaming  down my face and so help me, I couldn't
> tell  her for about fifteen minutes. My meal was cold, but it was the
> best  meal in a long, long  time.
> 
> 
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