[Rhodes22-list] Idiotic People Rant

[Saroj Gilbert]

So what was the song and the performer?


hehehe

Just kidding!

Saroj

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Slim" <salm at mn.rr.com>
To: "Rhodes22-list" <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
Sent: Sunday, October 08, 2006 5:23 AM
Subject: [Rhodes22-list] Idiotic People Rant


> As many of you know I sing and play the piano for a living.  I always take
> requests and try my best to accommodate everyone.  I've been doing this a
> long time and I know thousands of songs.  It's not that I can't be
> stumped--nobody knows every song--but if I don't know your request I might
> know another song by the same artist or maybe another song in the same 
> vein
> or at least a song "with a lot of the same notes."
>
> When someone asks for a song I don't know I just say, "Sorry, I don't know
> that one.  What else can I do for you?"  But tonight something happened
> that's happened countless times--maybe hundreds of times and it never 
> ceases
> to amaze me.  The conversation goes like this:
>
> "Hey, play 'such and such'!"
>
> "Sorry, I've never even heard of that one.  Who's it by?"
>
> "It's by 'so and so'.
>
> "I've never heard of them."
>
> "Sure you have, it's 'so and so'.
>
> "Sorry, don't know it."
>
> "Sure you do--play it!"
>
> "No really.  I don't know that one--never heard of it."
>
> "Play it anyway!"   (That's my favorite comeback.)
>
> "I can't.  I've never heard it."
>
> "Here's ten bucks--now play it!"   (Actually a legitimate strategy on his
> part because of course I pay more attention to ten-dollar requests.)
>
> "You could give me a hundred bucks but I still don't know it."
>
> "How can you NOT know 'such and such'?"  (This question always baffles me.
> I never know how to answer that one.)
>
> "Well, I guess because I suck?"
>
> "You call yourself a professional and you DON'T know 'such and such'?"
>
> "I'm not a real professional.  I'm just filling in tonight for someone 
> that
> called in sick.  I'm really a truck driver."  (You have to admire my
> patience.)
>
> "PLEEEEASE PLAY IT!"
>
> "Honestly, I'd love to play it for you if I could but I've never heard of 
> it
> and I just don't know it.  Sorry, is there another song you like that I 
> can
> do?"
>
> "No.  I want 'such and such' and if you don't play it right now I'm gonna
> complain to the manager.  I gave you ten bucks to play it!"
>
> "Money-back guarantee or in-store credit.  How about a Beatles song or 
> some
> Rolling Stones?"
>
> "No!  I want 'such and such'.
>
> "How about some Van Morrison or Jimmy Buffet?"
>
> "No!  Play my song!"     ...etc., etc., etc.
>
> Well, you get the idea.  Here's an erect-walking homo sapien, native
> English-speaker who is obviously a few slices of baloney short of a whole
> sandwich.  I've had this exact exchange so many times I can't count, and
> still I'm always stunned at the idiocy of some of these people who are out
> walking around and are allowed to have sharp objects.  Nothing much 
> rattles
> me anymore on the job but I'm still amazed and amused when it happens 
> again
> and again.
>
> Thanks for reading my 4 am apres Saturday night gig rant.
>
> What idiots have you encountered?
>
> Slim
>
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