[Rhodes22-list] Idiotic People Rant

[Luis Guzman]

Slim,
   
  What happens to you is similar to what happens to me in my field.
   
  I have a degree in Electronics Engineering Technology and I specialize in working with digital circuits and software. I did take analog circuits in school, but I hardly used that.
   
  I get introduced to somebody and somewhere in the conversation the "what do you do for a living?" question pops up. I tell them that I'm an Electronics Engineer, and then I can see the light bulb turn on above their heads. Next, they proceed to explain about this electronic appliance (usually an old TV or radio) they have and all that is wrong with it.
   
  Then they ask if I could fix it for them. When I tell them that I can't because I do not know much about radio or TV circuits, they ask: "What kind of an Electronics Engineer are you? Why can't you fix it?”. Rather than going thru a lengthy explanation, I tell them: "I'm sorry, but I lied to you. I'm not an Electronics Engineer. I'm a Proctologist. Do you have something else I could fix?"
   
  This usually keeps them from making any more derogatory comments because I could not fix their appliance.
   
  Luis
   
  

Slim <salm at mn.rr.com> wrote:
  As many of you know I sing and play the piano for a living. I always take
requests and try my best to accommodate everyone. I've been doing this a
long time and I know thousands of songs. It's not that I can't be
stumped--nobody knows every song--but if I don't know your request I might
know another song by the same artist or maybe another song in the same vein
or at least a song "with a lot of the same notes."

When someone asks for a song I don't know I just say, "Sorry, I don't know
that one. What else can I do for you?" But tonight something happened
that's happened countless times--maybe hundreds of times and it never ceases
to amaze me. The conversation goes like this:

"Hey, play 'such and such'!"

"Sorry, I've never even heard of that one. Who's it by?"

"It's by 'so and so'.

"I've never heard of them."

"Sure you have, it's 'so and so'.

"Sorry, don't know it."

"Sure you do--play it!"

"No really. I don't know that one--never heard of it."

"Play it anyway!" (That's my favorite comeback.)

"I can't. I've never heard it."

"Here's ten bucks--now play it!" (Actually a legitimate strategy on his
part because of course I pay more attention to ten-dollar requests.)

"You could give me a hundred bucks but I still don't know it."

"How can you NOT know 'such and such'?" (This question always baffles me.
I never know how to answer that one.)

"Well, I guess because I suck?"

"You call yourself a professional and you DON'T know 'such and such'?"

"I'm not a real professional. I'm just filling in tonight for someone that
called in sick. I'm really a truck driver." (You have to admire my
patience.)

"PLEEEEASE PLAY IT!"

"Honestly, I'd love to play it for you if I could but I've never heard of it
and I just don't know it. Sorry, is there another song you like that I can
do?"

"No. I want 'such and such' and if you don't play it right now I'm gonna
complain to the manager. I gave you ten bucks to play it!"

"Money-back guarantee or in-store credit. How about a Beatles song or some
Rolling Stones?"

"No! I want 'such and such'.

"How about some Van Morrison or Jimmy Buffet?"

"No! Play my song!" ...etc., etc., etc.

Well, you get the idea. Here's an erect-walking homo sapien, native
English-speaker who is obviously a few slices of baloney short of a whole
sandwich. I've had this exact exchange so many times I can't count, and
still I'm always stunned at the idiocy of some of these people who are out
walking around and are allowed to have sharp objects. Nothing much rattles
me anymore on the job but I'm still amazed and amused when it happens again
and again.

Thanks for reading my 4 am apres Saturday night gig rant.

What idiots have you encountered?

Slim

__________________________________________________
Use Rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org, Help? www.rhodes22.org/list


 		
---------------------------------
Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less.