[Rhodes22-list] Good for a laugh of two....

[Brad Haslett]

Elle,

Good!  Jeezo Peezo I feel old, I think I saw every episode you referred to.

Brad


On 2/10/07, elle <watermusic38 at yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> Thought these should be spread around...
>
> elle
>
> Something to start your day with a laugh.
>
> "Old Hollywood Squares
>
> If you remember the original Hollywood Squares and its
> comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These
> great questions and answers are from the days when "
> Hollywood Squares" game show responses were
> spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull,
> as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking
> the questions, of course.
>
>
>
> Q. Do female frogs croak?
> A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under
> water long enough.
>
>
> Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least
> how high should you be?
> A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking
> should do it.
>
>
> Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000
> years.
> A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way
> sometimes.
>
>
> Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you
> probably a man or a woman?
> A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
>
>
> Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger
> at a party and you  think that he is attractive, is it
> okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
>
> A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
>
>
> Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you
> get older?
> A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
>
>
> Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to
> say "I Love You"?
> A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple
> and a twenty.
>
>
> Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get
> Enough"?
> A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from
> the next apartment.
>
>
> Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or
> less with your hands while talking?
> A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old
> question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll
> never forget.
>
>
> Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
> A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
>
>
> Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries.
> Are you going to get any during the first year?
> A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing
> strawberries.
>
>
> Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
> A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
>
>
> Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two
> subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the
> other?
>
> A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
>
>
> Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or
> in the closet?
> A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in
> the bedroom.
>
>
> Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
> A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
>
>
> Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his
> tail. What will a goose do?
> A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
>
>
> Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you
> give birth to?
> A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be
> afraid of the dark.
>
>
> Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong
> with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of
> people?
> A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
>
>
> Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your
> body, what is it?
> A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly
> isn't neglected.
>
>
> Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put
> horseradish on his head,  what was he trying to do?
>
> A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
>
>
> Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time,
> your wife or your elephant?
> A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
>
>
> Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for
> its sex?
> A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is
> up to him.
>
>
> Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly
> believes in them and has actually seen them on at
> least two occasions. What are they?
> A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
>
>
> Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you
> should never do in bed?
> A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> We can't change the angle of the wind....but we can adjust our sails.
>
>
>
>
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