[Rhodes22-list] How to Secure Your Home in the Face of Rising Crime Rates

[Herb Parsons]

Reminds me of a true story, that's almost become legendary in our family 
(it's even got a sailing "tie-in" for purists on the list, though it 
happened on my O'Day 25).

I'm the father of four daughters (all grown now, and most of my fatherly 
defensive duties done). The girls were all pretty familiar with the fun 
I'd have with their suitors. This particular evening I had one daughter 
and her husband on the boat, and another daughter with her new 
boyfriend. We were out on the middle of the lake on a night sail, and 
just shooting the breeze. The topic of accidents on various area lakes 
came up, which led to the story of a body that had been recently 
recovered on another nearby lake with chains wrapped around it.

In a normal conversational tone, I said "that's something. You know, if 
you wrap those chains right, the bodies never float back up. And they 
definitely don't come back to mess with your daughter again."

The new boyfriend got real quiet. Eventually, the son-in-law and other 
daughter started giggling, and the dating daughter explained to her new 
boyfriend "That's just my dad, you'll get used to him".


Brad Haslett wrote:
> Elle,
>
> Just got one thing to add to that - draw a chalk outline of a body on the
> stoop.  If you're being bothered by Jehovah Witnesses , leave a copy of the
> Watchtower inside the outline.
>
> Brad
>
> On Sun, Apr 20, 2008 at 7:00 PM, elle <watermusic38 at yahoo.com> wrote:
>
>   
>> We all gotta do what we all gotta do..
>>
>> HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM ~
>>
>> 1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's
>> used size14-16 work Boots.
>>
>> 2. Place them on your front porch, along with several
>> ratty  copies of Guns & Ammo Magazine and NRA
>> magazines.
>>
>> 3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and
>> magazine.
>>
>> 4. Leave a dirty, wrinkled, almost illegible note on
>> the porch rail that reads:
>>
>> Hey Bubba, Jim Bob, Duke and Slim - Went to git more
>> ammunit'n.  Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit
>> bulls - they done attacked the mailman this morning
>> and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took
>> part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
>> they all four locked in the house. Set on the porch
>> till I get home.
>>
>> Cooter
>>
>>
>> +++++++++
>>
>>  elle..
>>
>> We can't change the angle of the wind....but we can adjust our sails.
>>
>>  1992 Rhodes 22   Recyc '06  "WaterMusic"   (Lady in Red)
>>
>>
>>
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>>     
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