[Rhodes22-list] Christmas with Louise - humor
elle
watermusic38 at yahoo.com
Sat Dec 13 20:11:51 EST 2008
Well, I was, Herb, but not so tall...only 4'11'..but I am familiar with the scenario...!
elle
We can't change the angle of the wind....but we can adjust our sails.
1992 Rhodes 22 Recyc '06 "WaterMusic" (Lady in Red)
--- On Sat, 12/13/08, Herb Parsons <hparsons at parsonsys.com> wrote:
> From: Herb Parsons <hparsons at parsonsys.com>
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] Christmas with Louise - humor
> To: "The Rhodes 22 Email List" <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
> Date: Saturday, December 13, 2008, 6:23 PM
> I loved it when the teachers wore skirts to calls in the
> 70's.
>
> We had this one teacher that was about 5'2" (you
> weren't around back
> then, were you Elle?) She usually had the board filled with
> notes before
> the class even started, and anytime somone would ask
> something, she'd
> write more. Invariably, the board would be full, except for
> the high
> areas that were hard for her to reach. The higher she
> reached, the more
> the guys enjoyed it. At the time, I thought she was
> blissfully unaware
> (hey, I was 15 at the time, what did I know about women?),
> nowdays, I'm
> not so sure.
>
> Strolling down the memories of the educational process...
>
> elle wrote:
> >> I still remember when even married teachers
> pregnant with even "legitimate"
> >> babies couldn't be in the classroom after they
> began to "show"; pretty
> >> silly.
> >>
> >
> > Ben,
> >
> > Replacing a teacher in such a situation was how I got
> my first teaching job in 1970...That remimnds me that
> female teachers were not allowed to wear anything other than
> skirts to school.
> >
> > When we moved to Northern Virginia in 1972, our
> English Dept head had had enough of this nonsence. She was
> getting old, and that school was chilly in the winter. We
> had a dept meeting...and several days later,(by
> prearrangement) in 'solidarity' the English Dept
> (all 10 or aso of us) came decked out in PANTS! Talk about
> heresy! Mzzz. B was 'called into the blowhard
> principal's office (he was a bully)....but she was Mzzz
> B...! And THAT was THAT!
> >
> > elle
> >
> >
> > We can't change the angle of the wind....but we
> can adjust our sails.
> >
> > 1992 Rhodes 22 Recyc '06 "WaterMusic"
> (Lady in Red)
> >
> > --- On Thu, 12/4/08, Ben Cittadino
> <bcittadino at dcs-law.com> wrote:
> >
> > From: Ben Cittadino <bcittadino at dcs-law.com>
> > Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] Christmas with Louise -
> humor
> > To: rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org
> > Date: Thursday, December 4, 2008, 9:49 AM
> >
> > Herb;
> >
> > Thanks for "Louise"; I hadn't ever heard
> that one.
> >
> > On the education issue, I'm mostly in agreement
> with you. Here in NJ we
> > have
> > local elected Boards of Ed who hire and fire, and I
> think they are bound by
> > the same rules as other employers on discrimination
> issues.
> > Back in the fifties, my sixth grade teacher was a
> flaming "Red" who
> > was
> > always running for office on the socialist or
> socialist workers or some such
> > party ticket, but he kept it out of the classroom and
> had a long and
> > peaceful career.
> >
> > There are still fights over sex ed and school based
> clinics handing out
> > birth control but by and large teachers who follow Bd
> of Ed approved
> > curricula on "good citizenship" topics are
> not subjected to much
> > scrutiny of
> > their personal lives outside the classroom. I agree
> that parents must be
> > vigilent and where teachers set a poor example that
> should be the subject of
> > a teaching experience "at home" with our
> children.
> >
> > I still remember when even married teachers pregnant
> with even
> > "legitimate"
> > babies couldn't be in the classroom after they
> began to "show";
> > pretty
> > silly.
> >
> > Ben C.
> >
> > hparsons wrote:
> >
> >> This isn't mine. Invariably, one (or more) of
> my friends will send me
> >> this each year (guess that says something about
> the type of folks I hang
> >> with). I laugh out loud each time I get it, almost
> like an alzheimer's
> >>
> >
> >
> >> patient laughing at the same joke over and over.
> Anyway, it's worth
> >> repeating:
> >>
> >> =====
> >>
> >> Christmas With Louise
> >>
> >> As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty
> hose over his
> >> fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted
> was for Santa to fill
> >> them. What they say about Santa checking the list
> twice must be true
> >> because every Christmas morning, although
> Jay's kids' stockings
> >>
> > were
> >
> >> overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.
> >>
> >> One year I decided to make his dream come true. I
> put on sunglasses and
> >> went in search of an inflatable love doll. They
> don't sell those
> >>
> > things
> >
> >> at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore
> downtown.
> >>
> >> If you've never been in an X-rated store,
> don't go. You'll
> >>
> > only
> >
> >> confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying
> things like, "What
> >>
> > does
> >
> >> this do? You're kidding me! Who would buy
> that?" Finally, I
> >>
> > made it to
> >
> >> the inflatable doll section.
> >>
> >> I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll
> that could also
> >> substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could
> use the car pool lane
> >> during rush hour.
> >>
> >> Finding what I wanted was difficult. Love Dolls
> come in many different
> >> models. The top of the line, according to the side
> of the box, could do
> >> things I'd only seen in a book on animal
> husbandry. I settled for
> >> Lovable Louise. She was at the bottom of the
> price scale. To call
> >> Louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination.
> >>
> >> On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old
> bicycle pump, Louise came
> >> to life.
> >>
> >> My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in
> during the wee morning
> >> hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I
> filled the dangling
> >> pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and
> bottom. I also ate some
> >>
> > cookies
> >
> >> and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a
> nearby tray. I went
> >> home, and giggled for a couple of hours.
> >>
> >> The next morning my brother called to say that
> Santa had been to his
> >> house and left a present that had made him VERY
> happy but had left the
> >> dog confused. She would bark, start to walk
> away, then come back and
> >> bark some more.
> >>
> >> We all agreed that Louise should remain in her
> panty hose so the rest of
> >> the family could admire her when they came over
> for the traditional
> >> Christmas dinner.
> >>
> >> My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she
> walked in the door.
> >>
> > "What
> >
> >> the hell is that?" she asked.
> >>
> >> My brother quickly explained, "It's a
> doll."
> >>
> >> "Who would play with something like
> that?" Granny snapped.
> >>
> >> I had several candidates in mind, but kept my
> mouth shut.
> >>
> >> "Where are her clothes?" Granny
> continued.
> >>
> >> "Boy, that turkey sure smells nice Gran"
> Jay said, to steer her
> >>
> > into the
> >
> >> dining room.
> >>
> >> But Granny was relentless. "Why doesn't
> she have any
> >>
> > teeth?"
> >
> >> Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It
> was Christmas and no
> >> one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance
> saying, "Hang on
> >>
> > Granny,
> >
> >> hang on!"
> >>
> >> My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor
> eyesight, sidled up to me
> >> and said, "Hey, who's the naked gal by
> the fireplace?"
> >>
> >> I told him she was Jay's friend.
> >>
> >> A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the
> mantel, talking to Louise.
> >> Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was
> then that we realized
> >> this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at
> home.
> >>
> >> The dinner went well. We made the usual small
> talk about who had died,
> >> who was dying, and who should be killed, when
> suddenly Louise made a
> >> noise like my father in the bathroom in the
> morning. Then she lurched
> >> from the panty hose, flew around the room twice,
> and fell in a heap in
> >> front of the sofa.
> >>
> >> The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce
> through my nose, and Grandpa
> >> ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began
> administering
> >> mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. My brother fell
> back over his chair and
> >> wet his pants.
> >>
> >> Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the
> room, and sat in the car.
> >>
> >> It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and
> remember.
> >>
> >> Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a
> thorough examination to
> >> decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We
> discovered that Louise had
> >> suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right
> thigh.
> >>
> >> Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct
> tape, we restored her
> >> to perfect health!
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> __________________________________________________
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> >> http://www.rhodes22.org/list
> >> __________________________________________________
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >
> >
>
> --
> Herb Parsons
>
> __________________________________________________
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