[Rhodes22-list] bad jokes home town humor

Fri Dec 19 15:32:13 EST 2008

Ben,

When I was in my teens we would hang out at this crossroad close to where
one of my friends lived. On occasion someone would stop and ask us for
directions to where ever they were heading. We would say sure and proceed to
give them directions. If they followed those directions exactly, in 45 min
or so they would be back at the crossroad from a different direction. Of
course we had gone up on the hill nearby to watch. Not very nice I know but
damm funny anyway.

John Shulick

benonvelvetelvis wrote:
> 
> I carry a pre-printed map to the prostitution hot-spots in my wallet.  :-)
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
> [mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of Lowe, Rob
> Sent: Friday, December 19, 2008 12:45
> To: The Rhodes 22 Email List
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] bad jokes home town humor
> 
> Ben,
> So what would you tell them now? - rob
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
> [mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of ben
> Sent: Friday, December 19, 2008 12:57 PM
> To: 'The Rhodes 22 Email List'
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] bad jokes home town humor
> 
> That reminds me of a story.  It's been a while, so I might have told
> this on
> the list already.  Apologies if so.
> 
> I was walking the dog between 9 and 10 one night.  We were in a nice
> neighborhood over near LSU.  We're walking on the sidewalk along a main
> boulevard when an SUV across the lane, across the median, and in the far
> lane stopped.  The window came down, and a young dude shouted across to
> me.
> 
> "HEY!  WHERE CAN WE FIND SOME PROSTITUES AROUND HERE!"
> 
> I was struck dumb for a few seconds, both because of the surprise of the
> situation, and because I honestly couldn't think of where one might go
> in
> Baton Rouge to find a prostitute.  I finally managed to spit out a weak,
> "ummm, I don't know."
> 
> "COME ON!  THERE'S GOT TO BE PROSTITUES AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE."
> 
> "Well.  I'm sure there are.  I just don't know where to find them."
> 
> "SHOULD WE TURN OR GO STRAIGHT?"
> 
> "Keep going straight."
> 
> Off they drove.
> 
> It bothered me that I couldn't be more helpful to obvious visitors to my
> community, and as I walked back to the house, I started to think of lots
> of
> places they might have gone:  strip clubs, Plank Road, Escorts in the
> Yellow
> Pages.  So next time I get that question, I'll be much more prepared.
> 
> 
> Ben S.
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
> [mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of Ronald Lipton
> Sent: Friday, December 19, 2008 11:34
> To: The Rhodes 22 Email List
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] bad jokes home town humor
> 
> We lived in Pittsburgh for 9 years.  It's good to see that it hasn't
> changed.  You should
> add
> "If someone has stopped his/her car in the middle of a busy street
> having an
> extended
> conversation with a pedestrian waking on the other side of the street"
> you live in Pittsburgh
> 
> Ron
> 
> On Fri, Dec 19, 2008 at 10:21 AM, John Shulick <jsbudda at verizon.net>
> wrote:
> 
>>
>> Here's a few
>>
>>  If your Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,
>>  you live in Pittsburgh.
>>
>>  If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't
> work
>> there,
>>  you live in Pittsburgh
>>
>>  If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
>>  you live in Pittsburgh
>>
>>  If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone
>>  who dialed a wrong number, you live in Pittsburgh
>>
>>  If an old chair left in a cleared parking spot on a snowy street
> looks to
>> you like a declaration of the sovereignty over that spot, you live in
>> Pittsburgh
>>
>>  If 'Jumbo' doesn't refer to a fictional elephant but means a kind of
>> luncheon meat,
>>  you live in Pittsburgh
>>
>>  If you can both 'go up street' or 'dawntawn',
>>  you live in Pittsburgh
>>
>>  If Versailles is pronounced as if it is spelled 'ver-sales', you live
> in
>> Pittsburgh
>>
>> If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of the Mason Dixon Line for
> the
>> weekend,
>>  you live in Pittsburgh
>>
>>  If you measure distance in hours, you live in Pittsburgh
>>
>>  If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back
> again
>>  you live in Pittsburgh
>>
>>  If someone offers you an 'ahrn' and you know to drink it,
>>  you live in Pittsburgh
>>
>>  If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow
>>  during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Pittsburgh
>>
>>  If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use
>> them,
>>  you live in Pittsburgh
>>
>>  If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,
>>  you live in Pittsburgh
>>
>>  If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph --you're going 80 and
>> everybody is passing you,
>>  you live in Pittsburgh
>>
>>  If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
> with
>> snow,
>>  you live in Pittsburgh
>>
>>  If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and
> road
>> construction,
>>  you live in Pittsburgh
>>
>>  If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car,
>>  you live in Pittsburgh
>>
>>  If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in Pittsburgh
>>
>> --
>> View this message in context:
>>
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> 074.
> html
>> Sent from the Rhodes 22 mailing list archive at Nabble.com.
>>
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