[Rhodes22-list] bad jokes home town humor

[Steven Alm]

"If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use
them, you live in Pittsburgh"

I was walking the dog when I came upon four women trying to jump start a
car.  They had the owner's manual out and were reading it aloud as I came
by.  One of them spotted me and shouted, "A MAN!  IT'S A MAN!  HEY, COME
OVER HERE!"

I looked at how they connected the cables and everything was right.  They
had neglected to do only one little thing--wiggle the clamps so they bit in
and made a good connection.  I just touched the cables and their car
started.  They all marvelled at the "golden touch of a man" and begged me to
tell them my secret.  I refused to tell them saying that if women knew how
to jump start cars, they would have no further need for us at all.

They agreed.

Slim

On Fri, Dec 19, 2008 at 10:21 AM, John Shulick <jsbudda at verizon.net> wrote:

>
> Here's a few
>
>  If your Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,
>  you live in Pittsburgh.
>
>  If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work
> there,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone
>  who dialed a wrong number, you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If an old chair left in a cleared parking spot on a snowy street looks to
> you like a declaration of the sovereignty over that spot, you live in
> Pittsburgh
>
>  If 'Jumbo' doesn't refer to a fictional elephant but means a kind of
> luncheon meat,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you can both 'go up street' or 'dawntawn',
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If Versailles is pronounced as if it is spelled 'ver-sales', you live in
> Pittsburgh
>
> If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of the Mason Dixon Line for the
> weekend,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you measure distance in hours, you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If someone offers you an 'ahrn' and you know to drink it,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow
>  during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use
> them,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph --you're going 80 and
> everybody is passing you,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
> snow,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
> construction,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in Pittsburgh
>
> --
> View this message in context:
> http://www.nabble.com/bad-jokes%28i-am-in-a-bad-mood%29-tp21091978p21094074.html
> Sent from the Rhodes 22 mailing list archive at Nabble.com.
>
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