[Rhodes22-list] bad jokes home town humor

[Blue Heron]

If you don't know how to spell Pittsburgh, you live in Pgh.

If you're the first car at the light waiting to turn left, and you make your
turn as soon as the light turns green, you live in Pgh.

If you're the first car at the light and an on-coming car has his left
blinker on, and you let him and probably the guy behind him turn left before
you enter the intersection, you live in Pgh.

That's known as the "Pgh left turn", something our list PITAs should learn.
Or maybe MJM and John, our new Jello cops, should just take the list PITAs
to Pgh and lean 'em to drive.

Rick

On Wed, Dec 31, 2008 at 1:24 AM, Steven Alm <stevenalm at gmail.com> wrote:

> "If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use
> them, you live in Pittsburgh"
>
> I was walking the dog when I came upon four women trying to jump start a
> car.  They had the owner's manual out and were reading it aloud as I came
> by.  One of them spotted me and shouted, "A MAN!  IT'S A MAN!  HEY, COME
> OVER HERE!"
>
> I looked at how they connected the cables and everything was right.  They
> had neglected to do only one little thing--wiggle the clamps so they bit in
> and made a good connection.  I just touched the cables and their car
> started.  They all marvelled at the "golden touch of a man" and begged me
> to
> tell them my secret.  I refused to tell them saying that if women knew how
> to jump start cars, they would have no further need for us at all.
>
> They agreed.
>
> Slim
>
> On Fri, Dec 19, 2008 at 10:21 AM, John Shulick <jsbudda at verizon.net>
> wrote:
>
> >
> > Here's a few
> >
> >  If your Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,
> >  you live in Pittsburgh.
> >
> >  If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't
> work
> > there,
> >  you live in Pittsburgh
> >
> >  If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
> >  you live in Pittsburgh
> >
> >  If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone
> >  who dialed a wrong number, you live in Pittsburgh
> >
> >  If an old chair left in a cleared parking spot on a snowy street looks
> to
> > you like a declaration of the sovereignty over that spot, you live in
> > Pittsburgh
> >
> >  If 'Jumbo' doesn't refer to a fictional elephant but means a kind of
> > luncheon meat,
> >  you live in Pittsburgh
> >
> >  If you can both 'go up street' or 'dawntawn',
> >  you live in Pittsburgh
> >
> >  If Versailles is pronounced as if it is spelled 'ver-sales', you live in
> > Pittsburgh
> >
> > If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of the Mason Dixon Line for the
> > weekend,
> >  you live in Pittsburgh
> >
> >  If you measure distance in hours, you live in Pittsburgh
> >
> >  If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again
> >  you live in Pittsburgh
> >
> >  If someone offers you an 'ahrn' and you know to drink it,
> >  you live in Pittsburgh
> >
> >  If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow
> >  during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Pittsburgh
> >
> >  If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use
> > them,
> >  you live in Pittsburgh
> >
> >  If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,
> >  you live in Pittsburgh
> >
> >  If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph --you're going 80 and
> > everybody is passing you,
> >  you live in Pittsburgh
> >
> >  If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
> > snow,
> >  you live in Pittsburgh
> >
> >  If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
> > construction,
> >  you live in Pittsburgh
> >
> >  If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car,
> >  you live in Pittsburgh
> >
> >  If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in Pittsburgh
> >
> > --
> > View this message in context:
> >
> http://www.nabble.com/bad-jokes%28i-am-in-a-bad-mood%29-tp21091978p21094074.html
> > Sent from the Rhodes 22 mailing list archive at Nabble.com.
> >
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