[Rhodes22-list] Slim the Rude B'turd

[Steven Alm]

Brad,

I've wirked a lot here in Iowa over the years and last night was the
exception with the idiots I had to deal with.  Tonight was a different
story.  Packed house, rockin' scene, awesome show.  Everything we did flew
like your jet.  I'd tell you what we made in tips but I'd have to kill you.
They give us free food and drinks and don't skimp on anything.  The
bartenders send shots up to the stage all night to keep us very well
lubricated.  Lots of cute, drunk corn-fed Iowa party girls.  Gotta luv 'em.
The owners treat us like kings and put us up in Drury Suites where we get
plasma TVs and free happy hour drinks and snacks.  Iowa has been belly,
belly good to me.  Next week I'm in South Dakota and I doubt we'll get the
same treatment.

Interesting though, no signs of recession at the clubs.  When times are
good, people go out and hoist a few.  When times are bad, people go out and
hoist a few.  My business is recession-proof.  I sell celebration in good
times and I sell diversion in bad times.  Musicians found plenty of wurk
during the Great Depression and today is no different.  My calendar is full
through the end of the year.  I'm afraid to look at my retirement accounts
right now but at least my income looks safe for now.  Hope the checks don't
bounce.

Slim

On Fri, Oct 10, 2008 at 9:37 PM, Brad Haslett <flybrad at gmail.com> wrote:

> Slim,
>
> You're probably working (I use that term loosely) right now.  In
> defense of Iowa, I love the place despite the way they vote.  In
> earlier days, I used to ride RAGBRAI every year - the Des Moines
> Registrar, Registrar's Annual Great Bicycle Ride Across Iowa. It was
> roughly 20,000 adults on the equivalent of spring break only it was
> late July. A third of the original settlers of Iowa were German
> immigrants so every little farm town has at least two bars.  Every
> day's ride was anywhere between 60 to 90 miles but if you thought of
> it as "only 4 miles to the next beer" no day was that difficult.
> There's a gazillion stories that came out of those years, many that
> can't be told in a sailor's bar because they're too raunchy, but
> here's one of my favorites that's family approved.
>
> My buddy and I were waiting in line at a Chinese restaurant in
> downtown Des Moines that would seat about 30.  There were at least 300
> people waiting to get in.  We barged to the front of the line and told
> the teenage daughter who was seating people to tell her parents to get
> every employee busy cooking.  We picked some people out of the line
> and told them to go to the kitchen and start washing dishes.  We
> grabbed a few more and got them busy bussing tables, a few more taking
> orders.  All in all, we added about 10 "employees" and the kid took
> the money.  It was a hoot! They made more money in two hours than they
> did in a month.
>
> I'd tell you some of the other stories from Iowa but I'd have to kill you.
>
> Brad
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