[Rhodes22-list] Fw: Southern girls

[elle]

Hope you're enjoying something in this last bunch...
 
elle








Southern Women 
> 
> Southern women appreciate their natural assets: 
> Clean skin. 
> A winning smile. 
> That unforgettable Southern drawl. 
> 
> 
> Southern women know their manners: 
> 'Yes, ma'am.' 
> 'Yes, sir.' 
> 'Why, no, Billy!' 
> 
> 
> Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions : 
> 'Y'all come back!' 
> 'Well, bless your heart.' 
> 'Drop by when you can.' 
> 'How's your Momma?' 
> 
> 
> Southern women know their summer weather report: 
> Humidity 
> Humidity 
> Humidity 
> 
> 
> Southern women know their vacation spots: 
> The beach 
> The rivuh 
> The crick 
> 
> 
> Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August: 
> Colorful hi-heel sandals 
> Strapless sun dresses 
> Iced sweet tea with mint 
> Straw hats and big sunglasses 
> 
> 
> Southern women know everybody's first name: 
> Honey 
> Darlin' 
> Shugah 
> 
> 
> Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts: 
> Fried Green Tomatoes 
> Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood 
> Steel Magnolias 
> Gone With The Wind 
> 
> 
> Southern women know their religions: 
> Baptist 
> Methodist 
> Football 
> 
> 
> Southern women know their country breakfasts: 
> Red-eye gravy 
> Grits 
> Eggs 
> Country ham 
> Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly 
> 
> 
> Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm: 
> Chawl'stn 
> S'vanah 
> Foat Wuth 
> N'awlins 
> Addlanna 
> 
> 
> Southern women know their elegant gentlemen: 
> Men in uniform. 
> Men in tuxedos 
> Rhett Butler 
> 
> 
> Southern girls know their prime real estate: 
> The Mall 
> The Country Club 
> The Beauty Salon 
> 
> 
> Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins: 
> Having bad hair and nails 
> Having bad manners 
> Cooking bad food 
> 
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> 
> 
> 
> More Suth en-ism's: 
> Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't 'HAVE' them, you 'PITCH' them. 
> _____ 
> Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up 'a mess.' 
> _____ 
> Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of 'yonder.' 
> _____ 
> Only a Southerner knows exactly how long 'directly' is, as in: 'Going to town, be back directly.' 
> _____ 
> Even Southern babies know that'Gimme some sugar' is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. 
> _____ 
> All Southerners know exactly when 'by and by' is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. 
> _____ 
> Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor whose got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's 
> trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin! 
> _____ 
> Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between 'right near' and 'a right far piece.' They also know that'just down the road' can be 1 mile or 20. 
> _____ 
> Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. 
> _____ 
> No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. 
> _____ 
> A Southerner knows that 'fixin' can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. 
> _____ 
> Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, . and when we're 'in line,' we talk to everybody! 
> _____ 
> Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage. 
> _____ 
> In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural. 
> _____ 
> Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. 
> _____ 
> Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food. 
> _____ 
> When you hear someone say, 'Well, I caught myself lookin',' you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! 
> _____ 
> Only true Southerners say 'sweet tea,''sweet milk,' and 'light bread'  Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. 'Sweet milk' means you don't want buttermilk.  And 'Light bread' is white bread. 
> _____ 
> And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,'Bless her heart' .. and go your own way. 
> _____ 
> To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southernes s: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart! 
> _____ 
> And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language! 
> _____ 
> And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads 'I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could.' 
 
> Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah ! 
 
> Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been! 
 
> If you're a Northern 
> transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it. 
> We know you got here as fast as you could. 
> 
> 
> 
> 

HSA 8
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