[Rhodes22-list] Warning: Bad Puns

[pdgrand at nospam.wmis.net]

1. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

     He acquired his size from too much pi.


  2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,

      but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.


 3. She was only a whisky maker,

     but he loved her still.


 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because

    it was a weapon of math disruption.


 5. No matter how much you push the envelope,

     itʼll still be stationery.


 6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road

     and was cited for littering.


 7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in

     Linoleum Blownapart.


 8. Two silk worms had a race.

     They ended up in a tie.


 9. Time flies like an arrow.

        Fruit flies like a banana.


 10. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.

       One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'


 11. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.

       Then it hit me.



 12. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.

      When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was,

      a nurse said, 'No change yet.'


 13. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.



 14. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was

      a small medium at large.


 15. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now

      a seasoned veteran.


 16. A backward poet writes inverse.


 17. In democracy it's your vote that counts.

      In feudalism it's your count that votes.


 18. When cannibals ate a missionary,

      they got a taste of religion.