[Rhodes22-list] Veterans Day 2009

Wed Nov 11 16:26:15 EST 2009

Thanks Mike;

Tell the "old friend" thanks too. 

It's never inappropriate to thank our veterans, even on a "sailing" list.

We had some active duty marines at our local Veterans Day ceremony in
Princeton today. Gosh they look so young....

Thanks again,

BenCittadino

Leland wrote:
> 
> Mike,
> 
> Excellent post, especially since I'm at work.
> 
> Obviously I'm not working too hard.
> 
> Thanks!
> 
> Lee
> 1986 Rhodes22  At Ease
> Kent Island, MD
> 
> 
> 
> R22MikeW wrote:
>> 
>> I am forwarding this to the Rhodes 22 list as a service to all veterans
>> on 
>> their day from an old friend (on another old friend's list-Sweetwater 
>> Gazette).
>> 
>> Note to Big Al ... nevermind
>> 
>> Mike
>> s/v Shanghai'd Summer ('81)
>> Nissequogue River, NY
>> 
>> From: "Brad Haslett"  Wednesday, November 11, 2009 12:55 PM
>> Subject: [Swiftwater Gazette] Veterans Day
>> 
>> 
>>>From the late, great Mike Royko (circa 1993) -
>> 
>> ***
>> 
>> I just phoned six friends and asked them what they will be doing on
>> Monday.
>> 
>> They all said the same thing: working.
>> 
>> Me, too.
>> 
>> There is something else we share. We are all military veterans.
>> 
>> And there is a third thing we have in common. We are not employees of
>> the federal government, state government, county government, municipal
>> government, the Postal Service, the courts, banks, or S & Ls, and we
>> don’t teach school.
>> 
>> If we did, we would be among the many millions of people who will
>> spend Monday goofing off.
>> 
>> Which is why it is about time Congress revised the ridiculous terms of
>> Veterans Day as a national holiday.
>> 
>> The purpose of Veterans Day is to honor all veterans.
>> 
>> So how does this country honor them?
>> 
>> By letting the veterans, the majority of whom work in the private
>> sector, spend the day at their jobs so they can pay taxes that permit
>> millions of non-veterans to get paid for doing nothing.
>> 
>> As my friend Harry put it:
>> 
>> "First I went through basic training. Then infantry school. Then I got
>> on a crowded, stinking troop ship that took 23 days to get from San
>> Francisco to Japan. We went through a storm that had 90 percent of the
>> guys on the ship throwing up for a week.
>> 
>> "Then I rode a beat-up transport plane from Japan to Korea, and it
>> almost went down in the drink. I think the pilot was drunk.
>> 
>> "When I got to Korea, I was lucky. The war ended seven months after I
>> got there, and I didn’t kill anybody and nobody killed me.
>> 
>> "But it was still a miserable experience. Then when my tour was over,
>> I got on another troop ship and it took 21 stinking days to cross the
>> Pacific.
>> 
>> "When I got home on leave, one of the older guys at the neighborhood
>> bar — he was a World War II vet — told me I was a ----head because we
>> didn’t win, we only got a tie.
>> 
>> "So now on Veterans Day I get up in the morning and go down to the
>> office and work.
>> 
>> "You know what my nephew does? He sleeps in. That’s because he works
>> for the state.
>> 
>> "And do you know what he did during the Vietnam War? He ducked the
>> draft by getting a job teaching at an inner-city school.
>> 
>> "Now, is that a raw deal or what?"
>> 
>> Of course that’s a raw deal. So I propose that the members of Congress
>> revise Veterans Day to provide the following:
>> 
>> - All veterans — and only veterans — should have the day off from
>> work. It doesn’t matter if they were combat heroes or stateside
>> clerk-typists.
>> 
>> Anybody who went through basic training and was awakened before dawn
>> by a red-neck drill sergeant who bellowed: "Drop your whatsis and grab
>> your socks and fall out on the road," is entitled.
>> 
>> - Those veterans who wish to march in parades, make speeches or listen
>> to speeches can do so. But for those who don’t, all local gambling
>> laws should be suspended for the day to permit vets to gather in
>> taverns, pull a couple of tables together and spend the day playing
>> poker, blackjack, craps, drinking and telling lewd lies about lewd
>> experiences with lewd women. All bar prices should be rolled back to
>> enlisted men’s club prices, Officers can pay the going rate, the
>> stiffs.
>> 
>> - All anti-smoking laws will be suspended for Veterans Day. The same
>> hold for all misdemeanor laws pertaining to disorderly conduct,
>> non-felonious brawling, leering, gawking and any other gross and
>> disgusting public behavior that does not harm another individual.
>> 
>> - It will be a treasonable offense for any spouse or live-in
>> girlfriend (or boyfriend, if it applies) to utter the dreaded words:
>> "What time will you be home tonight?"
>> 
>> - Anyone caught posing as a veteran will be required to eat a triple
>> portion of chipped beef on toast, with Spam on the side, and spend the
>> day watching a chaplain present a color-slide presentation on the
>> horrors of VD.
>> 
>> - Regardless of how high his office, no politician who had the
>> opportunity to serve in the military, but didn’t, will be allowed to
>> make a patriotic speech, appear on TV, or poke his nose out of his
>> office for the entire day.
>> 
>> Any politician who defies this ban will be required to spend 12 hours
>> wearing headphones and listening to tapes of President Clinton
>> explaining his deferments.
>> 
>> Now, deal the cards and pass the tequila.
>> 
>> - Mike Royko
>> 
>> _______________________________________________
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>> SwiftwaterGazette at mailman.theswiftwatergazette.com
>> http://mailman.theswiftwatergazette.com/mailman/listinfo.cgi/swiftwatergazette
>> 
>> 
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