[Rhodes22-list] jokes

[Rick]

MJM,

Norton warns the site for the links you provided is unsafe with over 400
threats.

Rick

On Tue, Oct 6, 2009 at 2:39 PM, michael meltzer <mjm at michaelmeltzer.com>wrote:

> A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two
> black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
>
>
>
> Naturally, the doctor asked him, "What happened to you?
>
>
>
> "Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult
> hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture. We went to look for them
> and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something
> white
> at its rear end. I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was
> a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of
> the
> cow's ass.
>
>
>
> "Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks
> like
> yours!'
>
>
>
> "I don't remember anyting after that ..."
>
>
>
>
>
> --
>
> It's an actual TV ad running in Britain - certainly not anything you would
> see on Canadian or American television...
>
>
>
>
> http://attitude.adforum.com/top5/2009/04/28/wilkinson-sword-mow-the-lawn-jwt
> -new-york/<http://attitude.adforum.com/top5/2009/04/28/wilkinson-sword-mow-the-lawn-jwt%0A-new-york/>
>
>
>
>
>
> --
>
> A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest
> sitting beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"
>
>
>
> "Of course, child, what may I do for you?"
>
>
>
> "Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday
> that is unopened and well over the Customs limits. I'm afraid they'll
> confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for
> me...under your robe, perhaps?"
>
>
>
> "I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you...I will not lie."
>
>
>
> "With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."
>
>
>
> When they got to Customs, the woman let the priest go ahead of her. The
> official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
>
>
>
> "From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."
>
>
>
> The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have
> to
> declare from your waist to the floor?"
>
>
>
> "I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which
> is,
> to date ... unused."
>
>
>
> Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father.. Next!"
>
>
>
>
>
> --
>
>
> http://attitude.adforum.com/top5/2009/09/16/bud-light-lime-in-the-can-ddb-ch
> icago/<http://attitude.adforum.com/top5/2009/09/16/bud-light-lime-in-the-can-ddb-ch%0Aicago/>
>
>
>
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