[Rhodes22-list] Canadian olympic humor.

[Rick]

I'm surprised no one asked about Canadian Soldiers.  Like, were do they come
from?

Rick

On Thu, Jan 21, 2010 at 4:39 PM, <r22rumrunner at aol.com> wrote:

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> >  Now that Vancouver will be
> hosting  the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from
> all over the world are asking.  Believe it  or not these questions
> about Canada  were posted on an International
> Tourism
> Website.  Obviously the  answers are a joke; but the
> questions were really  asked!
>
> Q: I have never seen it
> warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? ( England
> )
> A.  We import all plants fully grown  and then just sit
> around and watch  them die.
>
> Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears
> in the street?   ( France )
> A:   Depends on how
> much you've been  drinking.
>
> Q: I want to walk from Vancouver
> to  Toronto - can I follow the Railroad
> tracks?   ( Sweden )
> A:   Sure,  it's
> only Four thousand miles, take  lots of water.
>
> Q: Is it safe to
> run around in the bushes in Canada ?    ( Sweden
> )
> A:  So it's true what they say about  Swedes.
>
> Q:
> Are there any  ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ?  Can you
> send  me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver ,   Edmonton
> and Halifax ?  (England  )
> A:  No, but you'd better bring
> a few extra furs for trading purposes.
>
> Q: Can you give me some
> information about hippo racing in  Canada ?  (Norway )
> A:
> A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
> Ca-na-da is that big country to your  North...oh forget it. Sure, the
> hippo  racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary  Come
> naked.
>
> Q: Which direction is North in Canada ?   (Italy
> )
> A:  Face south and  then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you
> get here and we'll send the rest of
> the directions.
>
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> Q:  Can I bring cutlery into Canada  ? ( England
> )
> A:  Why? Just  use your fingers like we do.
>
> Q:
> Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?  ( USA )
>
> A:   Aus-t ri-a is that  quaint little country
> bordering  Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it.  Sure, the Vienna
> Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in  Vancouver  and in Calgary
> , straight after the  hippo races. Come naked.
>
> Q:  Do you
> have perfume in Canada ?  ( Germany )
> A:  No, WE  don't
> stink.
>
> Q:  I have  developed a new product that is the
> fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ? ( France
> )
> A:  Anywhere significant numbers of  Americans
> gather.
>
> Q:  Can  you tell me the regions in British
> Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male
> population?  ( Italy )
> A:  Yes,  gay
> nightclubs.
>
> Q:  Do  you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada
> ?  ( USA )
> A:  Only at Thanksgiving.
>
> Q:  Are
> there supermarkets in Toronto and is  milk available all year
> round?  ( Germany )
> A:  No, we are a peaceful civilization of
> Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is  illegal.
>
> Q:  I have a
> question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's
> a kind of big horse
> > with  horns. ( Germany )
> A:  It's
> called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of
> anyone walking close to them. You can  scare them off by spraying
> yourself  with human urine before you go out walking.
>
> Q:
> Will I be able to speak English most places I  go?   (
> USA )
> A:   Yes, but you will have to learn it
> first.
> >
> > Please  send this on to any Canadian (or
> others) who you think will enjoy it  as much as I
> did.
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