[Rhodes22-list] Thanksgiving dinner at the Haslett/Shen house

[brad haslett]

Rik, actually I'm having "Turkey Day" at the
Philadelphia Hilton/Marriot/Motel 6, whatever the hell
joint we stay in there.  Fan complained a few months
ago about my schedule so I gave her the bidpacks and
let her choose.  She bids great trips I didn't even
know I could hold. But.  When she asked about who we
were inviting for Thanksgiving I said "invite whoever
you want, I'll be in Philly!"  Ooops! Its been my
experience that no matter what day you celebrate
T-day, there's still turkey in the fridge until at
least February.  Brad.
--- Rik Sandberg <racerrik@rea-alp.com> wrote:
> Hey Brad,
> 
> If your forks all match, you're one step ahead of
> us. :-)
> 
> I am sorry to say that my good friend Martha must
> have already accepted a
> previous engagement ( I thought it was at your
> place) at the time she
> received our invitation to this years Thanksgiving
> gala. Apparently though,
> her reply to us offering her regrets for not being
> able to attend must have
> gotten lost in the mail. I could not possibly
> imagine that she would have
> neglected to send one. That just wouldn't be at all
> like Martha.
> 
> Rik
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "brad haslett" <flybrad@yahoo.com>
> To: <rhodes22-list@rhodes22.org>
> Sent: Monday, November 25, 2002 12:34 PM
> Subject: [Rhodes22-list] Thanksgiving dinner at the
> Haslett/Shen house
> 
> 
> > Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this
> > Thanksgiving. I'm telling you in advance, so don't
> > act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart won't be coming,
> I've
> > made a few small changes:
> >
> > Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade,
> paper
> > bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided
> that
> >
> > no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch
> > sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect.
> >
> > Once inside, our guests will note that the entry
> hall
> > is not decorated with the swags of Indian corn and
> > fall foliage I had planned to make. Instead, I've
> > gotten the kids involved in the decorating by
> having
> > them track in colorful autumn leaves from the
> > front yard. The mud was their idea. The dining
> table
> > will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy
> > china, or crystal goblets. If possible, we will
> use
> > dishes that match and everyone will get a fork.
> >
> > Since this IS Thanksgiving, we will refrain from
> using
> > the plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa
> napkins
> > from last Christmas. Our centerpiece will not be
> the
> > tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I promised.
> > Instead we will be displaying a hedgehog-like
> > decoration hand-crafted from the finest
> construction
> > paper. The artist assures me it is a turkey.
> >
> > We will be dining fashionably late. The children
> will
> > entertain you while you wait. I'm sure they will
> be
> > happy to share every choice comment I have made
> > regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims and the turkey
> > hotline. Please remember that most of these
> comments
> > were made at 5:00 a.m. upon discovering that the
> > turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds.
> >
> > As accompaniment to the children's recital, I will
> > play a recording of tribal drumming. If the
> children
> > should mention that I don't own a recording of
> tribal
> > drumming, or that tribal drumming sounds
> suspiciously
> > like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore
> them.
> > They are lying.
> >
> > We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver
> bell
> > to announce the start of our feast. In the end, we
> > chose to keep our traditional method. We've also
> > decided against a formal seating arrangement. When
> the
> > smoke alarm sounds, please gather around the table
> and
> > sit where you like.
> >
> > In the spirit of harmony, we will ask the children
> to
> > sit at a separate table. In a separate room. Next
> > door.
> >
> > Now, I know you have all seen pictures of one
> person
> > carving a turkey in front of a crowd of
> appreciative
> > onlookers. This will not be happening at our
> dinner.
> > For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a
> > private ceremony. I stress "private" meaning: Do
> > not, under any circumstances, enter the kitchen to
> > laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting
> children
> > to check on my progress. I have an electric knife.
> The
> > turkey is unarmed. It stands to reason that I will
> > eventually win. When I do, we will eat.
> >
> > I would like to take this opportunity to remind my
> > young diners that "passing the rolls" is not a
> > football play. Nor is it a request to bean your
> sister
> > in the head with warm tasty bread.
> >
> > Oh, and one reminder for the adults: For the
> duration
> > of the meal, and especially while in the presence
> of
> > young diners, we will refer to the giblet gravy by
> its
> > lesser-known name: Cheese Sauce. If a young diner
> > questions you regarding the origins or type of
> Cheese
> > Sauce, plead ignorance. Cheese Sauce stains.
> >
> > Before I forget, there is one last change. Instead
> of
> > offering a choice between 12 different scrumptious
> > desserts, we will be serving the traditional
> pumpkin
> > pie, garnished with whipped cream and small
> > fingerprints. You will still have a choice; take
> it or
> >
> > leave it.
> > Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this
> > Thanksgiving. She
> > probably won't come next year either.
> >
> >  I am thankful.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > ]
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
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> 
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