[Rhodes22-list] did somone say jokes 2

[Steve]

Like someone else said, Excellent job.  Remind me of
some Democrats!!!!!!!!  How can they talk, with one
foot in thier mouth, thier nose up the labor unions
ass and on thier Knees praying for the enomony to go
bad so they can keep thier jobs.  Should we make a
bumber sticker on THIS:-)
Steve




--- Michael Meltzer <mjm at michaelmeltzer.com> wrote:
> The soldiers are tired and lonely after spending
> weeks in enemy territory.
> To entertain them, the Major called for a dancer
> from a nearby town. She
> came, danced and when the first dance was done, the
> soldiers went mad. They
> clapped for five minutes.
> 
> For her second number she stripped and danced in
> sheer bra and g-string.
> This time the applause went for 10 minutes. The next
> number she danced
> topless, and this time the applause went on and on.
> The Major had to come on
> stage and ask them to quiet down for the grand
> finale.
> 
> For her last number, she was to strip completely and
> dance naked. The Major
> expected the soldiers to make enough noise to bring
> the roof down. But 10
> minutes later, there is no clapping and the dancer
> comes backstage.
> 
> The Major asks her, "What happened? How come there
> was no clapping this
> time?"
> 
> She replied, "Major, how do you expect those poor
> boys to clap with one
> hand?"
> 
> ++
> One day out in the Texas panhandle, a guy sees a
> sign in front of a house:
> "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the
> owner tells him the dog is
> in the backyard.
> 
> The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Black Lab
> just sitting there. "You
> talk?" he asks.
> 
> "Yep," the Lab replies.
> 
> "So, what's your story?"
> 
> The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this
> gift pretty young and I
> wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA
> about my gift, and in no
> time they had me jetting from country to country,
> sitting in rooms with
> spies and world leaders, because no one figured a
> dog would be
> eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable
> spies eight years running.
> 
> "The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew
> I wasn't getting any
> younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up
> for a job at the airport
> to do some undercover security work, mostly
> wandering near suspicious
> characters and listening in. I uncovered some
> incredible dealings there and
> was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of
> puppies, and now I'm
> just retired."
> 
> The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the
> owner what he wants for the
> dog. "Ten dollars."
> 
> The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are
> you selling him, so
> cheap?"
> 
> "He's a liar. He didn't do any of that crap."
> 
> ++
> It was the first day of 3rd grade, and a new school
> for Johnny. As a test,
> the teacher went around the room and asked each of
> the students to count to
> 50. Some did very well, counting as high as 30 and
> 40 with just a few
> mistakes. Others couldn't get past 20. Johnny,
> however, did extremely well.
> He counted past 50, right up to 83. He was so
> excited that he ran home and
> told his Dad how well he had done. His Dad nodded
> and told him, "That's
> because you are from Arkansas, son."
> 
> The next day, in language class, the teacher asked
> the students to recite
> the alphabet. Most made it about half way through
> without much trouble. Some
> made it to M and N, but Johnny rattled off the
> alphabet right to W. That
> evening, Johnny once again bragged to his Dad about
> his prowess in his new
> school. His Dad, knowingly, explained to him, "Son,
> that's because you are
> from Arkansas."
> 
> The next day, after Physical Education, the boys
> were taking showers. Johnny
> noted that, compared to the other boys in his grade,
> he seemed overly well
> endowed. This confused him. That night he told his
> dad," Dad, they all have
> little tiny ones, but mine is ten times bigger than
> theirs. Is that because
> I'm from Arkansas?" he asked.
> 
> "No, son," explained his Dad, "That's because you're
> 18."
> 
>  - from Jimi Pocius
> 
> --
> http://www.masswolf.com/missworld/missworld.html
> 
>  - from Sue Greene, pictured here as Miss USA
> 
> --
> __________________________________________________
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www.rhodes22.org/list


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