[Rhodes22-list] did somone say jokes 2

[Steve]

Excellent Ralf.  Loved the below:-)  
Steve


--- ralphzeto <ralphzeto at msn.com> wrote:
> Steve,
> I don't approve of political jokes-----I've seen too
> many democrats
> elected!!!
> ralf
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Steve" <rhodes2282 at yahoo.com>
> To: "The Rhodes 22 mail list"
> <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
> Sent: Thursday, November 20, 2003 9:05 AM
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] did somone say jokes 2
> 
> 
> > Like someone else said, Excellent job.  Remind me
> of
> > some Democrats!!!!!!!!  How can they talk, with
> one
> > foot in thier mouth, thier nose up the labor
> unions
> > ass and on thier Knees praying for the enomony to
> go
> > bad so they can keep thier jobs.  Should we make a
> > bumber sticker on THIS:-)
> > Steve
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > --- Michael Meltzer <mjm at michaelmeltzer.com>
> wrote:
> > > The soldiers are tired and lonely after spending
> > > weeks in enemy territory.
> > > To entertain them, the Major called for a dancer
> > > from a nearby town. She
> > > came, danced and when the first dance was done,
> the
> > > soldiers went mad. They
> > > clapped for five minutes.
> > >
> > > For her second number she stripped and danced in
> > > sheer bra and g-string.
> > > This time the applause went for 10 minutes. The
> next
> > > number she danced
> > > topless, and this time the applause went on and
> on.
> > > The Major had to come on
> > > stage and ask them to quiet down for the grand
> > > finale.
> > >
> > > For her last number, she was to strip completely
> and
> > > dance naked. The Major
> > > expected the soldiers to make enough noise to
> bring
> > > the roof down. But 10
> > > minutes later, there is no clapping and the
> dancer
> > > comes backstage.
> > >
> > > The Major asks her, "What happened? How come
> there
> > > was no clapping this
> > > time?"
> > >
> > > She replied, "Major, how do you expect those
> poor
> > > boys to clap with one
> > > hand?"
> > >
> > > ++
> > > One day out in the Texas panhandle, a guy sees a
> > > sign in front of a house:
> > > "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and
> the
> > > owner tells him the dog is
> > > in the backyard.
> > >
> > > The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Black
> Lab
> > > just sitting there. "You
> > > talk?" he asks.
> > >
> > > "Yep," the Lab replies.
> > >
> > > "So, what's your story?"
> > >
> > > The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered
> this
> > > gift pretty young and I
> > > wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA
> > > about my gift, and in no
> > > time they had me jetting from country to
> country,
> > > sitting in rooms with
> > > spies and world leaders, because no one figured
> a
> > > dog would be
> > > eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable
> > > spies eight years running.
> > >
> > > "The jetting around really tired me out, and I
> knew
> > > I wasn't getting any
> > > younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed
> up
> > > for a job at the airport
> > > to do some undercover security work, mostly
> > > wandering near suspicious
> > > characters and listening in. I uncovered some
> > > incredible dealings there and
> > > was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a
> mess of
> > > puppies, and now I'm
> > > just retired."
> > >
> > > The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the
> > > owner what he wants for the
> > > dog. "Ten dollars."
> > >
> > > The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth
> are
> > > you selling him, so
> > > cheap?"
> > >
> > > "He's a liar. He didn't do any of that crap."
> > >
> > > ++
> > > It was the first day of 3rd grade, and a new
> school
> > > for Johnny. As a test,
> > > the teacher went around the room and asked each
> of
> > > the students to count to
> > > 50. Some did very well, counting as high as 30
> and
> > > 40 with just a few
> > > mistakes. Others couldn't get past 20. Johnny,
> > > however, did extremely well.
> > > He counted past 50, right up to 83. He was so
> > > excited that he ran home and
> > > told his Dad how well he had done. His Dad
> nodded
> > > and told him, "That's
> > > because you are from Arkansas, son."
> > >
> > > The next day, in language class, the teacher
> asked
> > > the students to recite
> > > the alphabet. Most made it about half way
> through
> > > without much trouble. Some
> > > made it to M and N, but Johnny rattled off the
> > > alphabet right to W. That
> > > evening, Johnny once again bragged to his Dad
> about
> > > his prowess in his new
> > > school. His Dad, knowingly, explained to him,
> "Son,
> > > that's because you are
> > > from Arkansas."
> > >
> > > The next day, after Physical Education, the boys
> > > were taking showers. Johnny
> > > noted that, compared to the other boys in his
> grade,
> > > he seemed overly well
> > > endowed. This confused him. That night he told
> his
> > > dad," Dad, they all have
> > > little tiny ones, but mine is ten times bigger
> than
> > > theirs. Is that because
> > > I'm from Arkansas?" he asked.
> > >
> > > "No, son," explained his Dad, "That's because
> you're
> > > 18."
> > >
> > >  - from Jimi Pocius
> > >
> > > --
> > > http://www.masswolf.com/missworld/missworld.html
> > >
> > >  - from Sue Greene, pictured here as Miss USA
> > >
> > > --
> > >
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